Kathi and I have been invited to a masquerade wedding today. This is an opportunity for us to wear our famed Alice in Wonderland inspired Queen of Hearts/Mad Hatter tandem costumes (you guess who’s who). But although we know the betrothed couple well, we probably won’t know many of the guests, and it isn't worth the risk of showing up as the only ones wearing a costume and feeling even more like complete idiots than usual. On the other hand, if we don’t dress in costume, we will seem like spoil sports if everyone else is running dressed as Batman or Wonder Woman or a giant pigeon. This is why we need to restore America’s Party Standards.