Now that my fiancé Kathi Kamen Goldmark has come up with her “million dollar idea” (note to Kathi: we talk in trillions, now) to invent a hybrid car that runs on pigeon droppings, I feel I can prepare for my new life as one of the world’s wealthiest people. Why? Well, first, I’m going to be married to the inventor of the next great mode of transportation; and second, I am sitting on a gold mine of pigeon poop. I can’t believe how lucky I am! The pigeons hang around our house, leaving their leavings, and all I have to do is scoop it up and sell it to the owners of Kathi’s new car! I’m like Jed Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies, except I already live in California.