On April 1 (the date was a complete coincidence) I reported here that I had received an email from the human resources department of the company I work for saying “Your baby has been added to Aetna. Let us know if you have any trouble viewing him on their website.” Since I hadn't (to my knowledge) fathered a new child, I was pretty sure this was a mistake. It seemed unlikely that all this could have happened without my being aware, although admittedly my memory isn’t what it used to be.
I reported the error to HR. “You do not need to do anything,” I was told. “We did accidentally add the baby to you, but we deleted him.”
Not so fast, as it turns out. Today I received a new Aetna card in the mail, and there, after my own name and that of my son Daniel and daughter Laura I saw a new name: Keaton D. Barry. Welcome, Keaton! Do I get to write you off? Do I have to put you through college?