This morning I received an email from the human resources department of the company I work for saying “Your baby has been added to Aetna. Let me know if you have any trouble viewing him on their website.” It was a surprise to hear that I had a new baby, sixteen years after my last one. Back then you actually got to see the child in person; now it seems you go to a website. I’m not sure how I feel about this. When was the child born? Who is the mother? You’d think I would remember. And do I get to write him off?