Many women say they'd rather not know if their spouse or significant other is cheating on them. But when it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs, ignorance is not bliss. If you suspect your husband of cheating on you, it's in your best interests to search for signs of infidelity so you can either confirm or disprove what you suspect. Here are 11 practical and very compelling reasons why:
1. So you can put your mind at ease.
Suspecting your husband of infidelity can cause you endless days of worry and many sleepless nights. If it turns out that your husband isn't cheating, it will be a big relief to know your suspicions were untrue. The sooner you confront your suspicions, the sooner you can stop worrying and get on with your life.
2. To keep unfounded suspicions from poisoning your marriage and your mind.
No matter how carefully you try to conceal your suspicions, if you think your husband is cheating, these troubling thoughts will poison your mind and cause you to view him in a different light. This will eventually spill over and affect other aspects of your marriage like your sex life, the way you interact with your husband, and your level of trust -- just to name a few. Finding out your suspicions were unfounded can restore balance and breathe new life into your marriage.
3. So you can find out exactly what you're dealing with.
If your spouse has been acting strangely, they could be cheating on you. But what if there's another reason for their strange behavior that has nothing to do with infidelity? There may be some other problem that's threatening the stability of your marriage. A discreet search for telltale signs will help you pinpoint what's really going on.
4. To find out if your marriage is in jeopardy.
All affairs are not the same. Some pose a more serious threat than others. The situation may not be as bad as you think - or it could be a whole lot worse. The kinds of telltale signs you find can give you some insight as to whether your husband is merely having a fling, or whether there's something much more serious going on.
5. To short-circuit an affair in the making.
Affairs usually happen in stages. Your husband may not have actually cheated yet, but may be seriously entertaining "pre-infidelity thoughts". Spotting the early warning signs of infidelity will give you a chance to stop the affair before it starts.
6. So you can focus your energy in the right direction.
You can waste endless time and energy speculating about whether or not your husband is having an affair. You'll be in a state of emotional limbo until you find out for sure. Don't speculate. Investigate. Search for telltale signs. Once you have a clear picture of the situation, you can focus your energy on what your next move should be - to seek a separation or a divorce, or seek professional help in trying to get your marriage back on track.
7. To prepare yourself emotionally for the possibility that your spouse may leave.
If your husband's extramarital affair reaches the point where he decides to leave you for the Other Woman, it better to know in advance, rather than being taken by surprise. As devastating as it may be, knowing that this is a possibility gives you time to mentally and emotionally adjust to the idea.
8. So you can protect yourself sexually.
If your husband is having unprotected sex with someone else, you are at risk for contracting HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Your health, even your life, may be at stake. If you find signs that an extramarital affair is going on, you can protect yourself by abstaining or by practicing safe sex.
9. So you can take steps to protect yourself (and your children) financially.
You may need to put certain financial safeguards in place if your husband is having an extramarital affair that may eventually lead to divorce. An unexpected divorce or separation can cause a tremendous financial upheaval for an unsuspecting wife. If the signs of infidelity you find indicate that a divorce is on the horizon, you can prepare yourself financially for this life-altering event.
10. So you can seek legal counsel and find out your rights.
If you find out your husband is cheating, it's to your advantage to consult with a divorce attorney to find out your legal rights -- just in case the affair leads to a divorce. You need to know ahead of time what your legal rights are regarding things like alimony, child support, and division of marital assets.
11. To gather evidence of infidelity so you can confront your spouse about the affair.
Experts all agree that if you have proof that your husband is cheating, you should inform him that you know about the affair. In many cases, exposure of the affair will cause it to lose it's appeal. Bringing things out into the open may be all you need to get your marriage back on track.
SEARCHING FOR TELLTALE SIGNS
As devastating as it may be to find out the truth if your husband really is cheating on you, not knowing can be a whole lot worse. It's in your best interests to search for signs of infidelity, if you think your husband might be having an affair. In this day and age, there are many practical reasons why you can't afford to be the last to know. By the time you find out, it may be too late.
Searching for signs of infidelity does not have to be expensive or time-consuming. It's not necessary to hire a private investigator, or invest in fancy gadgets or expensive surveillance equipment to find out the truth. Knowing what to look for is the key. A good infidelity reference book can be a tremendous help. Once you know what to look for, spotting the signs of infidelity will take very little effort on your part. All you'll need are your own eyes and ears, and your personal knowledge of your mate.
By: Infidelity expert Ruth Houston for divorce360.com. Ruth is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs," which lists practicallyevery known sign of infidelity.
Causes Ruth Houston Supports
Humane Society of New York