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Use the Office Christmas Party to Expose a Suspected Workplace Affair


Workplace affairs are usually difficult to detect.

Except at Christmastime.

The company Christmas party will quickly reveal the truth, if your spouse or significant other is having a workplace affair. 

Best Way to Expose a Workplace Affair

If you suspect your spouse or significant other of workplace infidelity, accompany them to the Christmas party at their job.   It's  the best way to find out if what you suspect is true. Office Christmas parties have a way of exposing workplace affairs.  Attend the festivities with the suspected cheater and you're certain to find out the truth. 

Watch the Suspected Cheater Interact

Observing the suspected cheater as he or she interacts with opposite sex co-workers in an informal social setting will either confirm your suspicions, or set your mind at ease.  If he or she is romantically involved with someone on their job, their behavior and body language will give them away.  But knowing what to look for is the key.

What to Look For

If you need tips on what to look for or a few guidelines on how to proceed, get a  free  copy of my tip sheet, What to Look for at the Office Christmas Party if you Suspect a Workplace Affair.  E-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with What to Look For-rr1 in the subject line.

Many of the tips are taken directly from Chapter 26 (His Behavior around Other Women)-- in my book, Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook.  Most of the information in the tip sheet (and the book) apply to cheating women, as well as cheating men.

NOTE:  Click here to order a copy of the book, or use this link:  http://www.ishecheatingbook.com/

More Reasons to Attend His or Her Office Christmas Party

In my next post, I'll share 3 more reasons why it's important to accompany your spouse or significant other to the office Christmas party at their job --  even if you don't suspect a workplace affair.

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Gosh, this makes me really sad. I'm curious: how/why did you decide to become an infidelity expert?


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How and Why I Became an Infidelity Expert

Ruth Houston Infidelity Expert, founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs

 Thank you for asking, Kate.

 As you probably guessed, I was once an infidelity victim myself.  What began as a fact-finding mission when I accidentally discovered my now ex-husband's extramarital affairs almost 15 years ago, eventually turned into a second career, and is now my life's work.

You can read my story here in an article entitled Discovering Infidelity - One Woman's Story  at http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?id=13881

It's also included as the introduction to my book, Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs.

But below - in a nutshell - is how it all came about:

A Shocking Discovery

I was working on a magazine assignment which involved interviewing about a dozen people.  I was required to tape the interviews, transcribe the tapes, and submit the transcriptions with the completed article. 

Working from my home office, I did all my interviews, then sat down to transcribe all the tapes.  I was shocked to find that in between my interviews were very incriminating conversation made by my husband from the bedroom extension, not realizing that his conversations were being picked up on my telephone recording equipment in my home office in the next room. There were conversations with 3 women with whom he was sexually involved, and conversations with his male friends boasting about his extramarital escapades with these women.

I was in total shock, and had no idea how to handle the situation.  (In retrospect, I did all the wrong things - but that's another story) Nor could I understand how such a thing could happen 1) in a happy marriage that was the envy of all our family and friends, and 2) right under my very nose without my having any inkling of what was going on.

The Research Begins

I persuaded one of the magazines I was writing for at the time, to let me do a series of articles on various aspects of infidelity.  This allowed me to interview the leading marriage an family counselors across the United States, private  investigators who specialize in  infidelity investigations, divorce attorneys, infidelity victims (both male and female), cheating women and cheating men, therapists, sociologists, psychologists, couples counselors, relationship coaches, infidelity researchers, and other professionals in the field.  

I've been researching infidelity now for over 15 years.  Two years after I started interviewing, I hit the 3000 mark.  I stopped counting, but I've never stopped researching and interviewing. I've probably somewhere between 7000 and 10,000 people - I've lost count over the years.

After that first series of infidelity articles, I  accumulated so much information that I vowed once I got over my ordeal I would share what learned with other people in that situation.  Although there is much more infidelity information available today, there was very readily available 15 years ago. 

New infidelity research is being done all the time.  There's always something new to learn.  Just this year 3 separate infidelity studies found that happy husbands cheat too, and that good marriages are not immune to extramarital affairs.    

NOTE:  see my Top 10 Infidelity News Stories for 2008,  and my blog post at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/  entitled Happy Husbands Cheat on Their Wives Too. 

My Mission

I'm on a mission to see that essential infidelity information gets to the people who need it the most.  Statistics indicate that the majority of people being cheated on have no idea their spouse or significant other is having an affair.  No one ever believes it will happen to them, Yet infidelity in one form or another ( sexual infidelity, emotional infidelity, workplace infidelity, cyber / internet/online infidelity, female infidelity, same sex infidelity) touches 80% of all marriages and relationships today. 

Posted at my blog, http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/ is a list of at least a dozen free infidelity tip sheets and special reports that I e-mail to those who request the information.  

These free tip sheets and the articles on my website and my blog provide practica, immediately-usable information on all aspects of infidelity from discovery to recovery.

By making vital infidelity information widely available, I firmly believe that more marriages and relationships can be saved.  As you can see, it's a topic I'm very passionate about. Each year, I conduct 3 Infidelity Awareness Campaigns.  The Christmas Infidelity Awareness Campaign is near its end.  And the Valentine's Day Infidelity Awareness Campaign will be next.

A Happy Ending

Despite all this, my story does have a happy ending.  I've been happily re-married for almost 9 years now, to a wonderful man who was also a victim of infidelity.  His first wife cheated on him. 

And that, in a (very large) nutshell is the story of how and why I became an infidelity expert.

This is probably far more than you wanted to know. 

Guess I got carried away. 

Sorry.  :) 

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You've got to be joking,

You've got to be joking, right?!

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No Joke - See the shocking statistics below and on my other blog

Mary, unfortunately it's very true.  But you're not alone in your skepticism.  

There are statistics cited from several studies on the topic of office parties and workplace affairs in a post on my Infidelity News and Views blog - entitled Proof That Office Christmas Parties Breed Workplace Affairs.


Below are a few highlights from that post:

  • In a survey conducted by Men's Health magazine, 44% of the males said they'd had an affair with a co-worker at a holiday office party at least once in their life.
  • In a survey by Trojan Condoms, 49% of office workers said they'd be willing to have sex with a fellow employee at the Christmas party if the opportunity presented itself.
  • Almost 33% of those in the Trojan survey said they'd previously had sex with a colleague during or after an office Christmas party.
  • 41% of the 18-30 year old office workers in another study admitted getting together with a co-worker a their annual Christmas party.  13% said they had sex at the event.  Only 6% of them got caught.
  • 1 out of 5 women in the WorldWIT survey became romantically involved with a colleague at an office party.  33% of them had an affair as a result of their office party fling.  A year r more later 13% of them were STILL romantically involved.

Just the tip of the iceberg.  Few people realize the dangers, since these are not commonly known facts.  I try to make this, and other infidelity information widely available because I truly feel that if more people know abut the pitfalls, more marriages can be saved.  

(Hope these statistics didn't come as too much of a shock.)