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Smoke Damage / Home Invasion

Great.  Another Christmas fiasco.  We awoke this morning to find a heavy smell of smoke in the house, and soot coating everything in sight. It’s a wonder we didn’t all perish from carbon monoxide inhalation.

Some foreign object clogged the chimney while we, all snug in our beds, slept.  I can’t wait to get up there on the rooftop and find out what the hell it was. I swear to god, I know this has something to do with that fat, hairy homeless guy we caught peeking in through our windows last week, apparently trying to see if we were going to be “nice” enough to leave some cookies laying around for him. I’m filing a grievance with the village for lack of adequate safety patrolling.

Things were tough enough with those marauding carolers around dinnertime last night, but I could swear I heard sleigh bells—that’s right, friggin sleigh bells—as I was trying to drift off around midnight.

At any rate, I’ve pretty much had it with this whole Christmas thing.  All that time wasted and money spent, and now this: smoke damage and attempted home invasion.

Bah!

 

Comments
11 Comment count
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Give it a rest

You're too big to be an elf.  Humbug, yourself.

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Oh...

I was told size doesn't matter....

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Uh oh

I have no personal experience, but I have to believe the inside of a chimney is a very dark place.  ;)

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OK.  I am not sure which bit

OK.  I am not sure which bit is truth and which fiction.

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Raccoon

Are there raccoons in your area? We had one rummaging around in our chimney last winter.  Fortunately, the flue flaps above the fireplace were closed; otherwise a most unwelcome guest  would have been in our family room.  

 

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Ron's futile attempt to conceal his true identity

Think about it . . . have you ever seen Ron and Santa in the same room at the same time?

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Love this Ron!

Love this Ron!

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Poops, Ron. I know you are

Poops, Ron. I know you are chuckling away like a merry little Santa while Sandra combs your  glorious beard! m

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Well, this explains why Santa

Well, this explains why Santa didn't visit my house! Thanks a lot, Ron.

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You almost had me going--this

You almost had me going--this was just too funny for words!   :) J

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You have earned the right to

You have earned the right to be a scrooge Ron!  Who wants to wake up inhaling soot and smoke!?!  I hope that foreign object was fried to a crisp inside your chimney.  Don't get stuck inside that dark hole now! :-)