Denial is like an 11-foot brick wall standing between you and awareness. You can't see over it. You can't see around it. in order to expose the world on the other side the brick wall has to be knocked down. And only the person who constructed the brick wall can destroy it. My brick wall took over forty years to slowly and gradually erode and fall apart. Once the wall was in pieces lying on the floor, I was free to see the beautiful world on the other side—a world I’d never known existed. I understand why people don’t come out of denial. Denial is safe, familiar and comfortable, and it doesn’t require anything of you. At the exact time I realized my denial had lifted, I wished I had stayed in denial. The first glimpses of awareness and enlightenment were scary and intimidating, like a huge flesh-eating monster had been set free to consume “the old me.” I felt like a small child, lost in the wilderness, asking, “What do I do now? What direction do I go? How do I get to the other side?” Emerging from denial was mentally and emotionally painful. It was awkward and frightening, and I felt out of control. At the same time, I knew I would never be in the state of denial again—it just wasn’t possible anymore—but I wanted to go back anyway.