Winter break is here and I am very much looking forward to not having to wake up at 6AM every weekday for two whole weeks.  My house is about 35 miles(about 56KM) outside of the city.  In order to get my son to school on time, I have to leave my house no later than 6:40, pick up a carpooler in a nearby town by 7AM--because if I don't it adds an extra 20-40 minutes to my commute--drop him or her off downtown after crossing the bridge, and finally pull up to my son's school by 7:50AM.  Some mornings are easier than others and some are just horrid.  One morning, there was a huge oil spill on the bridge and we were late by 45 minutes.  Last month there was a deranged person holding up traffic on the bridge claiming to have a weapon.  We were lucky he had no school and I had no work that day.   Despite all of this and everything else that happens during the highway commute and other morning craziness, I am proud to say that Devyn has just two tardies so far this year.  He has Perfect Attendance certificates for every month except September.  They have his name on them, but I know that my extreme efforts are what get him there before the beginning of the school day.  

The other side of the story, is that I work nights.  I start work at 3PM and don't get off until 11 at night.  My mom and brother watch him and put him to sleep by 9 and when I get off we drive back home and start all over again.  Thankfully, I am off Wednesdays and Thursdays so we go home as soon as school is over those two days, but the mornings are still just as grinding.  Fridays, Devyn's mom picks him up and takes him for the weekend.  I usually meet them so I can say good-bye.  Sunday nights after work, I pick him up from his mom's, and bring him home to begin the school week.  Those nights are even more tiring as you may imagine.  He knows how tired I am in the morning even if he is asleep during all of the car rides to and fro.  All this, and he is just in 1st grade.  Sometimes I wish that I could have stuck it through with his mother JUST so I could have those extra 20 minutes of sleep and not have to pick anyone up in the morning to use the carpool lanes, but if I would have endured that failing relationship any longer, I just might have had an aneurysm...or I may have shot myself.  Usually, after I drop him off at school I stop by my brother's apartment to sleep for a few hours before work.  However, the parking situation there isn't the best and I often have to move the car every hour or so.  Sometimes there isn't a place to park at all and I have to nap in my car somewhere closer to work.  

If that wasn't bad enough, my job--front desk host at a small hotel--has a lot of downtime, but can also be very taxing on my mind, health, and self-esteem.  I'm almost always the only one here during my shift and I have to deal with everything.  Noise complaints, taxi pickups, dining suggestions, needs for extra pillows or sheets or anything else, reservations, fixing room phones or TVs or AC units, all while making sure the building doesn't burn down.  Plus, the guests aren't always very polite or understanding that it is a two-star property.  "There's only one elevator??" "You have no one that can help with my luggage?" "You only get basic cable?" "I only get one free parking spot?"  But the best one(or the worst), is one I heard today; "I really, really, really, need a room where the bed's headboard faces the south."  I have no way of telling which room would have that, so she had a housekeeper show her multiple rooms until she found the one she was looking for.  To top it all off, I'm usually the one who hears whatever complaints guests have about the product itself because I'm the one on duty and the one they get to vent to.  Every now and then I'll get a guest who is nice, but those are few and far in-between.  That, and the hotel has plenty of other issues that will take a whole new blog to get into.  

So, what's a 28 year-old/single parent/bad home loan owner/sleepy commuter/stuck in a dead-end job in a time where getting a new job is close to impossible especially if all of my experience is in either hospitality or retail and I don't want to do either-to do??  I rarely have time to write.  My new year's resolution of finishing my screenplay is about to roll over again.  That's 4 years now!  I do however have a lot to be thankful for.  I'm healthy; I feel healthy, anyway.  My son could be living with his mom instead of I.  I could have no job at all and no way to pay my mortgage and my bills.  These are all huge pluses in my life of which I am exceptionally grateful.  So, yesterday as I hugged my son and strapped him in to his mom's car, I felt relieved but also extremely sad.  He's going to spend the majority of his winter break with her and I'm not going to see him as much as I'd like to.  Even if he lives with me I really only spend my two days off with him because he's passed out in the backseat most of the time. Then there's the heavy rain that cancelled his field trip yesterday.  I was going to accompany the class as a chaperon.  That made the "good-bye" even harder.  These next two weeks I'm going to enjoy to sleeping in, relaxing, not having to deal with the rat race commute, and perhaps best of all spend some time AWAKE at my house!  But that "good-bye" yesterday was so hard.  I don't know.  I'll wake up at 6AM every single day for the rest of my life, if it means not ever having to say "good-bye" to Devyn like that again.  That being said, "zzzz".

-rp.