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My Short Life as a Zombie #3 of 7

I HATE MONDAYS

 

 

But wait I need to start from the beginning of the day.

 

6 AM

 

I could have sworn this morning I seen the news maybe I was distracted by the woman anchor. Gosh love her body, it f–in rocks. Even if all I can see is the top of her as the rest was hidden behind the broadcast desk. Gosh she so, so hot, kind of reminds me of Valerie my co-worker. The news had switched to a special news announcement that was coming from the CDC in Atlanta. I could barely hear as I watch from the bathroom doorway. Man I really have to stop brushing my teeth so violently. The stiff anchorman said something dull until a few choice words were spoken from a very nerdy looking dude with a very nerdy looking hairdo. He spoke about a virus of unknown origin that had made its presence in an urban area of Atlanta and there are reports of individual incident in California, New York and Chicago.

 

I remember standing in my apartment staring at the television, thinking gosh that guy is really nerdy looking and what is going on with his hair. It swirled around and around the top of his head like a vanilla and chocolate pudding cup.

 

I got back to the business of brushing my teeth and then dressing for work. I made quick work of the rest of the morning task as I only had twenty minutes to get a coffee and run to the bus stop. I ran out the door and down the stairs with my bag looped over my right should. The coffee shop was almost empty when I rushed through the door. Strange I thought as I walked up to the counter. The women behind the counter squeezed a smiled past her teeth and asked me if I’d like to try the new egg sandwich this morning. I replied in a small voice – that’s what she said. Then Smile. She looked up from what she was doing and said nothing. I got the point quickly and said large coffee with eight sugars. She moved to one side as a smaller thin girl appeared from around her and set the coffee on the counter. I smile again thinking, nice magic trick. Then slide my card through the magic little digital box. I commented on the lack of people in the shop at that time of day, she made a sound of contempt and then replied – Who knows. Maybe everyone’s taking the fucking day off. Yeah, that right. Its – Fucking day off day, today. Holy shit I forgot. She smiled then started to laugh. I smiled then said – see you tomorrow.

 

I walked to the bus stop on Clinton street and nothing interesting happen as I sipped my coffee. I thought about guy from CNN, how did he get his hair to fucking do that, I mean I spend at least two minute on my hair but he has maybe twenty five percent of his hair left and still managed to cover seventy five percent of his dome, wow amazing. I couldn’t wait to tell Alex about this dude.

 

The Bus was pack with disgruntle Monday passengers, gosh I hate Mondays. I had to stand and hold the degusting bar at the top of the bus to keep my balance. I remember using the napkin from my coffee purchase at DD to hold the rail. It was then that I had total recall of the special news broadcast from this morning – a strange virus had broken out. The first symptoms were vomiting, then extreme dehydration, and finally a fever then death. The news anchor look as if he himself had just earlier vomited as he asked the time period from exposure to expiring from the virus. That was the moment of truth as the nerd with the swirly pudding dome hairdo said four hour or less. A voice from the front of the bus echoed through the bus. I stretched to see what had caused everyone standing to lean to the sides of the bus. A small blonde haired woman had forced her way to the front, and then started to slap the palm of her right hand on the accordion glass door. The bus driver yelled at her to wait as he pulled the CTA bus to the corner. Five seconds after pulling away I could see her hunched over through the bus’s large windows.

 

My god what is going on?

I need to try to recall the rest of the day.

 

7:30 AM, back on the bus.

 

A woman seated just in front of me made a comment to the woman sitting next to her about morning sickness being a bitch of a time the first month. I could still see the women through the large bus windows as we pulled away. I thought about her and could only hope she had been pregnant. I remember almost missing my bus stop as the bus came to a stop. If it hadn’t been for the man behind me that woke me from my thoughts I would have missed my stop. I stepped off the bus and pulled my black wool coat closed and buttoned the top button. My hands were freezing as I walked to work holding my coffee with both hands to keep them warm. The common cattle were walking in-formation on both sides of Adams Street. Every once in awhile a speed walker would cruise by weaving there way in and out of the formation. I walked slow maybe to slow for the city population. Between the women that walk like there late for a meeting but still can’t hang up there morning phone conversation to the old men who bump everyone in there way as if the line they walk is there own personal walk way and everyone else should clear the path. Then I am a slow walker, I loved to walk slowly especially in front of a speed walker. But today someone or something I hated to death had been walking in front of me. A middle-aged woman just in front of me had one of those stupid bags that she pulled around by a handle like a small-misbehaved child. Darn women look like a fucking Gnome as she slowed the group of people behind her and myself. I sip my coffee and peer down on the back of her gnome like cranium. I smiled to myself, it was the grin only a child could decipher. As I gave her little pull bag the best flat tire, her rolling shit bag bounced about two inches off the ground. Her step didn’t even hesitate as she moved forward. Then another swift kick to the rear right wheel and the bag bounced up again and over to one side causing a total loss of control. In my thoughts an imaginary persons in a referees uniform raised both hands, score! Her wrist screamed as it flipped her hand over to the outside of her body and then her body to follow. Her eyes met mine as I grinned and kept walking. I could hear her arguing with her little black bag as she tried to push it back onto it tiny wheels.

 

I only had a block to walk from my bus stop. It only took me seven minutes to get to the Jefferson and Adams intersection. I waited for the street signal to change from the – don’t walk orange hand signal to the white signal of a walking stick figure. I waited as several people rushed across the intersection; it was only a matter of time before I witnessed a person getting crushed by a car. I loved that game called Frogger and this was the real life version of the game. I thought, it could be called Phoners. No that’s not good I’d have to think about that one. Just then, the woman standing next to me in dress pants tucked into her Hugg boots and a five hundred dollar Northface full-length winter coat moved forward into the street. I guess she had wait long enough and need to cross. Oh man, I thought this could be my day to see something crazy. She edged her way forward with her hood pulled tightly to her face. Two cabs rush by and then a truck as she lean forward into the street. I wondered what kind of person is this? Oh shit, that’s right a fucking twenty to thirty something that can’t pull herself away from Facebook page, text or phone conversation if the person next to her was on fire. A truck was moving slower than the rest of the traffic on our side of the street.  Could see behind the truck because I had stayed on the sidewalk. She on the other hand had edge so far forward that the truck blocked any view of traffic behind it. Several cars struggled to get past the delivery truck, but a Cab had been so close to the back end that it had no choice but to wait for an opening in traffic. The woman hesitated then ran across the intersection. The cab raced around the truck just missing her, his horn yelled obscenities at her and then disappearing down the street. She just kept walking. Her small hands wrapped around her Black Berry unaware of how close she was to a serious injury or maybe death. The moment only lasted fifteen second as the light turned red and the white walking stick man lit up.

 

I laugh at the woman’s eagerness to get to work or maybe school or maybe nothing. She probably risked her life every day to get to a place she got paid thirty to forty thousand dollars a year that she paid a hundred and fifty thousand dollars of schooling to do. I only had half a block to go before get to my work building, thank god my hand were freezing.

 

The building was quiet. I could see Jefferson Street through the front door while I waited for the elevator. The feeling in my fingers started to come back as I repositioned my messenger bag then opened my coat. I pushed the single red button for the elevator. The small light lit up then disappeared, shit I thought this elevator had to be one of the oldest in Chicago. I pushed the red button again, this time I could hear the gears turning on the fourth floor and felt a slight breeze come from under the elevator door.

 

 

It moved as if it two trolls under the building were controlling the action of upper ward and downward motion. To get into the steel and copper tomb of an elevator you had to push a steel door to one side. Then work an accordion door over to the side as i held the first door open. If you’re lucky you won’t get stuck in either door and left for dead or have to cut your arm off with a house key. I walked into the elevator I could see out of my peripheral view Gene hitting the number pad to get into the building. I couldn’t tell you why I notice it but I could see he had throw up as his coat and gloves look un-kept and soiled. I walked quickly into the elevator. Just as the steel door shut first I nervously waited for the accordion door to fully close I could only imagine Gene trying desperately to get in before the elevator started to move. I held the small black button with the number four down. I mentally tried to force the elevator to move to hurry my escape from Gene. I thought to myself come on trolls pull the rope. Just then the elevator shook and started its upward momentum, I could see through the tiny window on the steel outer door, Gene’s face of disappointment peered through the tiny window. He missed the troll-vator.