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The Navy's Noncom-poops
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We'd like to see the Peconic River continue to produce beautiful fish like this striped bass.

No sooner than I had reported on the United State's Navy's firm stance of insisting that the toxic chemicals (volatile organic compounds -- VOCs) found polluting the Peconic River will simply go away through "natural attenuation," a Navy spokeswoman, Lieutenant j.g. Laura Steghrr, has most recently reinforced that position by stating, "The Calverton site does not present a health or safety risk."  The woman goes on to say: "Current sampling shows the concentration of volatile organic compounds detected in the Peconic River is lower than appreciable values and ecological values.  Additionally," she continues, "concentration levels in groundwater have remained steady or decreased over time . . ."

Navy Secretary Ray Mabus, Assistant Navy Secretary for Installations and Environment BJ Penn, and Navy spokeswoman, Lieutentant j.g. Stegherr, have apparently lost sight of the fact that the toxic chemicals found in the Peconic River are already as high as two hundred (200) times the state's drinking water standards; the toxic plume is more than a quarter of a mile wide.  Reaffirming those facts, N.Y. Congressman Tim Bishop has fired back with a response: "I take exception with any notion that the plume 'does not present a health or safety risk.'  The reason that my colleagues and I have called for an advanced remediation plan is precisely because that the full extent of the risk is currently unknown."  I believe that the congressman fell just short of insisting that the Navy and its commissioned nincompoops sign up for remedial arithmetic and be decommissioned to the status of noncom-poops.

 Once again, fodder for your novel(s), folks.  The truth can, indeed, be stranger than fiction.