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Grandma Hazel's Funny, Funny Kidz Jokebook (WARNING: Contains No Stupid Knock-Knock Jokes or Dumb Pictures to Take Up Space)
Grandma Hazel's Funny, Funny Kidz Jokebook (WARNING: Contains No Stupid Knock-Knock Jokes or Dumb Pictures to Take Up Space)
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Rob gives an overview of the book:

In fourth grade I bought a dinosaur joke book from Scholastic Book Services. I anticipated its arrival. When delivered the slim volume was 40 pages and contained about 65 jokes. Stupid jokes. Knock-knock jokes. With pictures! "Grandma Hazel's Funny, Funny Kidz Jokebook (WARNING: Contains No Stupid Knock-Knock Jokes or Dumb Pictures to Take Up Space)" was written to ensure no eight-year-old will ever again suffer the disapointment that dumb-ass dinosaur joke book wrought upon me. Over 29,000 words. No pictures. No Knock-knock jokes. $2.99.
Read full overview »

In fourth grade I bought a dinosaur joke book from Scholastic Book Services. I anticipated its arrival. When delivered the slim volume was 40 pages and contained about 65 jokes. Stupid jokes. Knock-knock jokes. With pictures! "Grandma Hazel's Funny, Funny Kidz Jokebook (WARNING: Contains No Stupid Knock-Knock Jokes or Dumb Pictures to Take Up Space)" was written to ensure no eight-year-old will ever again suffer the disapointment that dumb-ass dinosaur joke book wrought upon me. Over 29,000 words. No pictures. No Knock-knock jokes. $2.99.

Read an excerpt »

          

CHAPTER 1

 

CROSS EXAMINATIONS…

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross the highway with a bicycle?

Killed.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a cat and a stove?

A self-cleaning oven.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a toad with a computer?

A wart processor.

 

 

 

 

Why did the atom cross the road?

It was time for him to split.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a dog with a newspaper reporter?

A Rover reporter.

 

 

What do you get if you cross an owl with a tornado?

A tongue twister.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a cat and a Xerox machine?

A copycat.

 

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a computer programmer and an Olympic athlete?

A floppy disk-us thrower.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a cat with a vacuum cleaner?

I don’t know, but it sure drinks a lot of milk.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a dog with a sheet of canvas?

A pup tent.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a dog with an Olympic sprinter?

A 100 yard Dachshund.

 

 

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to catch a boomerang.

 

 

What do you get when you cross Lassie with a daffodil?

A Collie flower.

 

 

Why did the chicken cross the football field?

To score a touchdown.

 

 

What do you get if you cross a basketball with a newborn snake?

A bouncing baby boa.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a genius and a monster?

Frank Einstein.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a Muppet who lives in a garbage can?

Oscar the Pouch.

 

 

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About halfway.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a cow with a tornado?

Udder disaster.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a chocolate bar with a magic dragon?

Cocoa Puffs.

 

 

What do you get when you cross an ear of corn with a spider?

Cobwebs.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a dog with a chicken?

Pooched eggs.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a dog with a soldier?

A pooper trooper.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a small brown bear with a skunk?

Winnie-the-Pee-Yew.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a baby cat with a ball of wool?

Mittens.

 

 

What do you get when you cross the New York Philharmonic with a bunch of monkeys?

A chimp-phony.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a sheep with Jackie Chan?

Lamb chops.

 

 

What do you get when you cross Darth Vader’s son with a hamburger?

Luke Skywhopper.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a chicken with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Someone who says, “I’ll be bock, bock, bock…”

 

 

What do you get when you cross Cinderella with a rabbit?

A hare ball.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a famous English serial killer with a pair of pants?

Jack the Zipper.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a judge with poison oak?

Rash decisions.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow?

An animal who says, “Cock-a-doodle-moo.”

 

 

What do you get when you cross a basketball player and a groundhog?

Six more weeks of basketball season.

 

 

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken

 

 

What do you get when you cross a duck with a crocodile?

A quack-odile.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a golf club with an automobile?

A backseat driver.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a quarterback with a carpet?

A throw rug.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a librarian with a golfer?

Book clubs.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?

A walkie-talkie.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a baseball player with Siamese twins?

A doubleheader.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?

A wash-and-werewolf.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?

A sour puss.

 

 

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

He didn’t have the guts.

 

 

   What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

   Frostbite.

 

 

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-boo.

 

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get the New York Times.

Get it?

Me neither, I get The Windsor Times.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a turkey?

Drumsticks for everybody.

 

 

 

What did Hannibal get when he crossed the Alps with his elephants?

Mountains that never forget.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a Swat team with an octopus?

A bomb squid.

 

 

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a computer?

A 4000 pound know-it-all.

 

 

 

What do you get if you cross a midget and a computer?

A short circuit.

 

 

What do you get if you cross a calculator and a kangaroo?

Something that jumps to conclusions.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a little brown bear and a French dog?

Winnie-the-Poodle.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a hyena with a parrot?

A critter that laughs at its own jokes.

 

 

Why’d the chicken stumble across the street?

She was on a road trip.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a chicken with chewing gum?

Chick-lets.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a hen with a guitar?

A chicken you can sing along with when you pluck it.

 

 

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell station.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a German Shepard with an oak?

A tree with a very loud bark.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed an automobile and a dog and an airplane?

A flying car-pet.

 

 

What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a young goat?

A stuck-up kid.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a comedian and a fortune teller?

A happy medium.

 

 

What would you get if you cross a gopher and a porcupine?

A tunnel that leaks.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed an airplane and a magician?

A flying sorcerer.

 

 

What would you get, if you crossed a galaxy with a toad?

Star Warts.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a small bear with a cow?

Winnie the Moo.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a skunk and a boomerang?

A smell you just can’t get rid of.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a bison and a duck?

Buffalo Bill.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed an insect and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

 

 

What do you get when you cross an owl and a goat?

A hootenanny.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a rabbit and a frog?

A bunny ribbit.

 

 

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a veterinarian and a chiropractor?

An animal cracker.

 

 

Why did the muddy chicken cross the road twice?

Because she was a dirty doublecrosser.

 

 

Why did the rabbit cross the road?

To get to the hopping mall.

 

 

Why did the cow cross the road?

To visit its fodder.

 

 

Why did Dr. Jekyll cross the road?

To get to the other Hyde.

 

 

Why’d Count Dracula cross the road?

He was looking for the main artery.

 

 

Why did the duck cross the road?

Because the chicken retired and moved to Carson City, Nevada.

 

 

Why did the otter cross the road?

To get to the otter side.

 

 

Why did the Hippopotamus cross the road?

Because the light was green.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a broom, a cat, and an automobile?

A car-pet sweeper.

 

 

Why did the seagull cross the road?

Because it was the chicken’s day off.

 

 

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?

Dead.

 

 

Why did the elephant cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken.

 

 

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get the second hand shop.

 

 

Why did the surfer cross the road?

To get to the other tide

 

 

What do you get when you cross a lobster and a baseball player?

A pinch-hitter.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a wristwatch and a gun?

A ticks shooter

 

 

What would you get if you cross two outlaws with a German Shepard?

Don’t even try. Outlaws don’t like to be crossed.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a cathedral bell and a thief?

A gongster.

 

 

How do hikers cross a patch of poison oak?

They itch hike.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a reindeer and a firefly?

Rudolph the red nosed firefly.

 

 

One do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and the Invisible Man?

Pitching like no one has ever seen.

 

 

Why did the Tyrannosaurus Rex cross the road?

Because back then they didn’t have chickens.

 

 

What do you get when he cross a parrot and a bumble bee?

An animal that talks constantly about how busy it is.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a canary?

A bird that knows the words and the music.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a cat and a parrot?

A purr-a-keet.

 

 

What do you get when you cross the Invisible Man and a cow?

Vanishing cream.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a parrot and an elephant?

Something that tells everything it remembers.

 

 

What do you get if you cross a parrot and an army man?

A parrot-trooper.

 

 

What do you get if you cross an angel, a skunk, and a mute owl?

Something that stinks to high heaven and doesn’t give hoot.

 

 

What do you get when you cross an orange breakfast drink and a monkey?

An orangu-tang.

 

 

What do you get when you cross an electric eel with a sponge?

Shock absorbers.

 

 

What would you get if a clown crossed the river with a leak in his boat?

How about half way.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a stream and a river?

Wet feet.

 

 

How did R2D2 cross the lake?

In a row-bot.

 

 

How did the dentist cross the river?

On the Tooth Ferry.

 

 

What do you get when you cross an egg and a soft drink?

Yolk-a-cola.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a clown and a soft drink?

Joke-a-Cola.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cement mixer?

A hen that lays sidewalks.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a rooster and a clock?

An alarm cluck.

 

 

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a banana?

A baa-nana.

 

 

What would you get if you crossed a banana with a banana?

A pair of slippers.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow?

Roost beef.

 

 

What do you get when you cross a jazz musician with a sweet potato?

Yam sessions.

 

☼ ☼ ☼

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 2

 

ASSORTED KIDZ JOKES…

 

 

 

Why did the clock get arrested?

Because it struck 12.

 

◊◊

 

Is there a silent C in Connecticut?

Yes, and there’s also a noisy ocean offshore.

 

◊◊

 

What kind of tool does Cinderella use to trim the hedge?

Glass Clippers.

 

◊◊

 

   How do you make Dinosaur bacon?

   You use Jurassic pork.

  

◊◊

 

There once was a perfect little boy...

He wore perfect shirts which matched his perfect shoes. He had a perfect smile with perfectly white teeth. He played golf and bowled perfectly. He got straight A’s and his room was perfect, with a perfectly made bed and a perfectly arranged and dusted dresser. He ate perfect oatmeal for breakfast, perfect sandwiches for lunch and perfect meatloaf for dinner. His parents and friends and his teachers were always commenting on how perfect he was. In school, he got straight A’s and had a perfectly neat desk. He only made friends with other perfect children. One day while he was out jogging in his perfect jogging suit, with his matching jogging shoes, he saw the most perfect little puppy in a store on the other side of the street. He thought: “I must have that perfect puppy; it will match my perfect shirt that fits me perfectly and also match my perfect little shoes. It’ll fit in perfectly with my perfect smile, my perfect teeth, and my perfect straight A’s. That puppy would be perfect in my perfect room with my perfect bed; it will eat perfect toast and oatmeal and meatloaf with me. My parents and friends will all say how perfect my little puppy is and it can come to my school and sit by my perfect desk.” In perfect Hope and Happiness the Perfect Little Boy ran across the street to get the perfect puppy and was hit and killed by a car.

   So remember: Always look both ways before crossing the street.

 

◊◊

 

   What goes: GNIP, GNIP, GNOP, GNOP?

   A ping-pong ball bouncing backwards.

 

◊◊

 

How do you slice a ping-pong ball?

With a knife.

 

◊◊

 

What do you serve, but never eat?

A tennis ball.

 

◊◊

 

What are little snots afraid of when they go to bed?

The Booger Man.

 

◊◊

 

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

 

◊◊

 

What did one farmer say to the other farmer?

“Hey, how’s your farm?”

 

◊◊

What’s the magical way of getting rid of old scabs?

Use the magic word, Scabacadabra.

 

◊◊

 

Does this always work?

Scabsolutely.

 

◊◊

 

How does a Band-Aid get downtown?

In a taxi scab.

 

◊◊

 

Who has a mustache and granted Cinderella three wishes?

The Hairy Godmother.

 

◊◊

 

What’s black and white and purple and black and white?

Two zebras fighting over a grape.

 

◊◊

 

What’s black and white and one inch thick?

A panda that’s been run over by a steamroller.

 

◊◊

 

What’s black and white and can’t get through a revolving door?

A panda with an arrow through its head.

 

◊◊

 

What do you have after you’ve grilled a Barbie doll?

A Barbie-que.

 

◊◊

 

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the truck stink?

It had too much gas.

 

◊◊

 

What do you call a girl with a wooden leg?

Peg.

 

◊◊

 

What do you call a boy who’s been half-eaten by a tiger?

Les.

 

◊◊

 

What do you call a boy who’s been attacked by a bull?

Gord.

 

◊◊

 

A man went to a psychic, paid $20, and she told him, “I know exactly what you’re going to get for Christmas.”

“How?”

“I can feel your presents.”

 

◊◊

 

How was bug spray invented?

A scientist started from scratch.

 

◊◊

 

The mad scientist Benjamin Bright was cloning replicas of himself in order to take over the world. When news of this leaked out every teacher armed themselves with ballpoint pens. Librarians armed themselves with piles and piles of books. All the farmers grabbed sacks of wheat, rye, and barley. They stormed Benjamin Bright’s lab where they discovered hundreds of clones ready to march in war against the nation. The teachers, librarians, and farmers killed the clones with their pens, their books, and their sacks of wheat, rye, and barley. After destroying all the clones they tried to kill Benjamin Bright himself but the pens, the books and sacks of wheat, rye, and barley bounced off him as he sprinted to safety. They heard him say as he disappeared over the hill, “Bics and tomes may break my bones but grains will never hurt me!”

 

◊◊

 

Why did the man quit his job as a tailor?

It was a sew-sew job.

 

◊◊

 

How did the giant know that Jack was coming?

He could hear Jack and the beans talk.

 

◊◊

 

An insurance salesman calls the house and a little boy answers the cell phone in a whisper, “Hello?”

“Hi, can I speak your Daddy?”

He’s busy,” whispered the boy.

“Can I speak to your mommy?”

She’s busy too.”

“Is there another adult in your house?”

Yes. My uncle.”

“Can I speak to your uncle?”

No. He’s busy,” whispered the boy.

“Is there another adult in your house?”

Yes, the police department is here. So is the fire department.

“Please let me talk to a policeman or a fireman.”

They are all busy too.”

“What is everybody busy doing?”

They are all looking for me.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the pregnant woman race to the hospital?

She wanted a speedy delivery.

 

◊◊

 

“Are worms good to eat?” A little girl asked her mother at the dinner table.

“Goodness no,” said the mother. “Why?”

“Because there were three of them in your salad.”

 

◊◊

 

Why was the woman unhappy when she gave birth to a pound of margarine?

She was expecting something butter.

 

◊◊

 

When do new mothers name baby boys?

On son-days.

 

◊◊

 

What did the weatherman call his baby boy?

Sonny.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the little boy bury his mother and father?

He wanted to grow a family tree.

 

◊◊

 

What did one plate say to the other?

“Dinner’s on me, tonight.”

 

◊◊

 

What did one wall say to the other?

“Meet me at the corner?”

 

◊◊

 

Why couldn’t the tire quit its job?

It was flat broke.

 

◊◊

 

Why’d the kid put pennies and nickels under the car wheels?

He wanted to change a couple of tires.

 

◊◊

 

A traveling salesman read the city limits sign: Zchasch. He didn’t know how to pronounce it: Z-zach, Z-shack, Z-cha-scha. When he stopped for lunch he asked the person behind the counter, “I’m confused. How do you pronounce the name of this place? It’s so peculiar; I can’t even venture a guess.”

The clerk said, “McDonald’s.”

 

◊◊

 

What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

“You look a little flushed.”

 

◊◊

 

Why do refrigerators hum?

Because they don’t know the words.

 

◊◊

 

Did you hear that the jigsaw puzzle got fired?

It went all to pieces.

 

◊◊

 

What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

 

◊◊

 

What keeps the trains running?

The track coach.

 

◊◊

 

Where do trains compete?

At the track meet.

 

◊◊

 

What do you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

152 holes.

 

◊◊

 

When can you jump over three men without getting out of your seat?

In a checkers game.

 

◊◊

 

Can a 12-year-old high jumper jump higher than a house?

Certainly, houses can’t jump.

 

◊◊

 

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

Blow a little boogie into it.

 

◊◊

 

Why are lost things always in the last place you look?

Because when you find them, you stop looking.

 

◊◊

 

What did the rope say after he got tangled?

“Knot again.”

 

◊◊

 

Why couldn’t the cathedral bell keep a secret?

It always tolled.

 

◊◊

 

What has teeth but doesn’t bite?

A comb.

 

◊◊

 

What has ahead and a tail, but no body?

A coin.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the girl eat a lightbulb?

She just wanted a light snack.

 

◊◊

 

What do you throw out when you need it and take in when you don’t need it?

An anchor.

 

◊◊

 

What kind of driver never speeds?

A screwdriver

 

◊◊

 

What did the easy chair say to his son?

“You are such a La-Z-Boy.”

 

◊◊

 

What did the carpet say to the floor?

“Don’t move! I got you covered!”

 

◊◊

 

What kind of bow is impossible to tie?

A rainbow.

 

◊◊

 

How are stupid riddles like unsharpened pencils?

Neither of them have a point.

 

◊◊

 

What happens when you annoy a clock?

It gets ticked off.

 

◊◊

 

What happens to teaspoons who work too much?

They go stir crazy.

 

◊◊

 

Which accidents happen every 24 hours?

Night falls and day breaks.

 

◊◊

 

How do you keep a window from getting cold?

Shutter.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the wristwatch go on vacation?

To unwind.

 

◊◊

 

What made the horoscope blush?

It saw the comic strip.

 

◊◊

 

What kind of nail does a carpenter hate to hit?

His thumb nail.

 

◊◊

 

What did the dishwasher say to the dirty dishes?

“You’re in hot water now.”

 

◊◊

 

Why does the sliced bread like the knife?

Because it always butters him up.

 

◊◊

 

Which dinosaur roamed the Wild West?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

 

◊◊

 

What’s Barney’s favorite movie?

The Color Purple.

 

◊◊

 

What happens when you turn a dinosaur upside down?

You get triceratops-y turvy.

 

◊◊

 

“Hey waiter,” said the customer, “do you serve crabs here?”

“Of course we do. Sit right down.”

 

◊◊

 

Why did the cucumber need a lawyer?

He was in a pickle.

 

◊◊

 

Why do ministers like Swiss cheese?

Because it’s so holy.

 

◊◊

 

Who’s the only person more flexible than a ballerina who can lift her leg over her head?

A sailor who can sit on his own chest.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the blueberry need a lawyer?

It was in a jam.

 

◊◊

 

If you eat half of a cookie what do you have?

An angry bake shop owner.

 

◊◊

 

What sandwich lies the most?

Baloney.

 

◊◊

 

What happened after the police arrested a hamburger?

They grilled him.

 

◊◊

 

Why can’t you tell one yeast from another yeast?

They’re all from the same mold.

 

◊◊

 

Why was the water fountain arrested?

For being drunk in public.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the apple divorce her old grape of a husband?

She was tired of raisin’ children.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the egg accuse the cook of cruelty?

He put her in a bowl and beat her.

 

◊◊

 

Where do lettuce, tomatoes, and croutons practice law?

At the salad bar.

 

◊◊

 

Why is corn the most popular vegetable in the garden?

It is always willing to lend an ear.

 

◊◊

 

When is tomato juice like rain?

When it pours.

 

◊◊

 

What is blue and seedy?

A strawberry holding its breath.

 

◊◊

 

Why didn’t any salad jokes make it into this book?

They all got tossed.

 

◊◊

 

“How’d you break your arm?

“You see that hole over there?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t.”

 

◊◊

 

Did you hear about the man who got run over by the steamroller?

He’s in the hospital. Rooms: 12, 13, 14, and 15.

 

◊◊

 

What should you do when your cake strikes out?

Call in the next batter.

 

◊◊

 

What did the corncob get his sweetheart when he proposed marriage?

An ear ring.

 

◊◊

 

A prisoner was released from jail after 50 years. He ran over to the first person he saw, a little boy, and said, “I’m free! I’m free! I’m free”

“So what?” said the little boy. “I’m four.”

 

◊◊

 

How did the tomato win the marathon race?

It paste itself.

 

◊◊

 

Why did the businessman sell his banana store?

He was tired of all the monkey business.

 

◊◊

 

Why couldn’t the monkey catch the banana?

The banana split.

 

◊◊

 

What did the pizza say to the banana?

Nothing. Pizzas can’t talk.

 

◊◊

 

Why was Jackie Chan in the hospital?

He had Kung Flu

 

◊◊

 

What did Bugs Bunny say to LeBron James?

“What’s up, Jock?”

 

◊◊

 

Who is Superman’s most religious enemy?

Lex Lutheran.

 

◊◊

 

Snow White went to the drug store to pick up her pictures and the clerk said, “I’m sorry Snow White, your pictures aren’t ready yet.”

“That’s okay,” said Snow White. “I know that someday my prints will come.”

 

◊◊

 

How did Spiderman make his garden grow?

With water and fertilizer.

 

◊◊

 

What did one caveman say to the other?

“BC-ing you.”

 

◊◊

 

What kind of horse is always scared?

A nightmare.

 

◊◊

 

What did E.T.’s mom say when he got home?

“Where on earth have you been?”

 

◊◊

 

How does a solar system hold up its pants?

With an asteroid belt.

 

◊◊

 

Despite not being able to read palms or tea leaves Mary Poppins moved to Los Angeles and started a fortune telling business. She could tell a person’s future simply by smelling their breath. She had business cards made that read: Super Californian Mystic, Expert Halitosis.

 

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How did Minnie Mouse save Mickey from drowning?

He used mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

 

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What do you call a little blue man who lives in Hawaii?

Papa Surf.

 

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What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?

A Toy-Yoda.

 

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What stands in New York Harbor, holds a torch, and sneezes?

The Ah-Choo of Liberty.

 

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A Rabbi is fascinated by Polynesian folklore, but he just can’t believe this story. On March 2nd it is said that a giant arises from the ocean and walks ashore on a remote Polynesian island. The inhabitants of the island, known as Trids run around and around the giant who gently kicks them out to sea, where they body surf back to shore and re-join the circle. So the Rabbi travels out to the island on March 1st and everyone is making preparations for the giant’s appearance. Still skeptical, the Rabbi awakes and, sure enough, a giant arises from the ocean. The Trids run around him in a circle and playfully, gleefully, he kicks them into the water. The Rabbi wants in on the fun so he joins the circle. He runs around for an hour—no luck. Finally he stops and says, “Hey Giant, why no kicks for me?”

The giant says, “Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Trids.”

 

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rob-loughran's picture

I had fun writing this book.

About Rob

Winner of the 2002 New Mystery Award for High Steaks

23 books in print. 

200+ articles published in national magazines.

8 children and 12 grandchildren.

Avid runner, lives happily and quietly with wife Penny in Windsor, CA

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Published Reviews

Oct.19.2011

Tantric Zoo begins in 1987 at Tantricity Hill with four very different couples in different stages of their lives. Altair and his wife Apple run Tantricity Hill. The other three couples are Arnold and...

Oct.26.2011

High Steaks is smartass, erudite and intriguing. The characters have surprising backgrounds that serve as social...

Author's Publishing Notes

The Hardcover edition is 297 pages. The e-book can be downloaded to iPhones, Nooks, Adobe Digital, Android, Mobi Kindle, PDF and RTF.