where the writers are
Adventures of an e-Book Bookie, 21 "Some Writer Jokes"

A writer walks into a bar and orders a beer.  “How’s the literary endeavors lately?” asks the bartender.

            “Pretty good.  I write six hours; every day.”

            “Have you sold anything?”

            “Yes.  My television, my car, and my baseball card collection.”

***

            Did you hear about the blond actress who was so stupid she moved to Hollywood and screwed a writer?

***

            A writer returned home to see his house wrapped in police tape. “I live here,” he asked a cop, “what happened?”

“Your agent came over this afternoon, raped and murdered your wife and kidnapped your daughter.”

“Holy shit,” he said. “My agent came to my house?”

***

What type of writing pays the best?

Ransom notes.

***

A famous writer walks into a bar and orders five shots of tequila.  “Problems buddy?”

“I’ve lost my writing ability.  My last three books all suck.”

“They’re probably just as good as your first three,” says the bartender, “maybe your taste has improved.”

***

            What’s the difference between an engineering major, a finance major, and an English major?

            An engineering major says: How can we build it?

            A finance major says: What will it cost?

            An English major says: Would you like fries with that?

***

A writer walks into a bar and orders an ouzo.  “How’s the writing game?” asks the bartender. 

“Not too good, I sent an article to Reader’s Digest and it came back with a rejection slip.”

“What was the name of the article?”

The writer says, “I Fucked a Bear.”

“No wonder it got rejected.  You have to improve the title.”

A month later the writer returns and orders an ouzo.  “How’s the writing game?” asks the bartender. 

“Not too good, I sent the article back into Reader’s Digest and it came back with a rejection slip.”

“What did you rename the article?”

I Fucked a Bear for the FBI .”

 “No wonder it got rejected again.  You really have to improve the title.”

A month later the writer returns and orders an ouzo.  “How’s the writing game?” asks the bartender. 

“Pretty good. Reader’s Digest finally accepted my article.”

“So you took my advice and improved the name of the article?”

“Yep.”

“What did you change it to?”

I Fucked a Bear for the FBI and Found Jesus.”

***

Heard any good (or bad) writer jokes? Add them here as a comment...

 

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Here's a "coupon code" to download my jokebook for free and check it out.
If you have an iPhone or an iPad or Nook or Kobo or Adobe Digital Reader go to:
www.smashwords.com/profile/view/robloughranbooks
and click on "A Man Walks Into a Bar..." and click BUY (you'll have to designate which device you're downloading to) and enter the coupon code yb48k and you'll get it for free. ("Act Now..." "Limited Time Offer..." "Local Restrictions Apply..." "It's New..." "It's Improved..." It's Old Fashioned...")
If you don't have a e-reader go to Amazon.com and download the "Kindle for PC" and then go to the link above and download to your newly downloaded Kindle for PC.
Or you can just go to the link above and download a free PDF of "A Man Walks Into a Bar..." to your computer.
Please try this out and give the jokebook a read. Then leave a little blurb/review at either (or both) Smashwords or Amazon.com.

 

Comments
2 Comment count
Comment Bubble Tip

Answer to your prompt

I'm gonna copy the jokes and take them to the writers' group I attend every week.

Thanks

Comment Bubble Tip

Thanks Dolores. Be careful

Thanks Dolores. Be careful with the one about the bear!

 

Rob