“Good Morning Sunshine!”  Linlokfei rose from bed bright and early on the day of July 15, 1995.  Her beloved son Gavin was celebrating his fourth birthday at school.  “I must look pretty today, all eyes will be on me.”  This was the only day of every passing year that Linlokfei rose early from her precious sleep to celebrate the natal day of her son.

The happy princess as she is fondly called married a wealthy taipan named Henry.  Henry’s family’s roots date back to a dynasty belonging to the rich and famous in ancient China.  In 1982, Henry left home to further his education in London.  That same year, Linlokfei was living in Paris while studying painting.  On weekends, she would hop on the train to London and walk the streets.  She spent her afternoons sitting in her favorite café taking bites out of anything sweet and sumptuous to satisfy her sugar cravings.

One afternoon, Henry walked in to have a scone and some tea.  Linlokfei was preoccupied devouring her pastry dipping each bite into her bowl of clotted cream when out of the blue Henry stood and whacked his newspaper in mid air, killing a fly that was hovering over him.  Whack!  He then heard a faint shrill coming from behind.  Henry turned red, as a tomato when he looked back and saw that the dead fly had landed on the bowl of clotted cream on Linlokei’s table!  The unexpected comical drama led to love at first sight.

A romance bloomed shortly and two years later, Henry and Linlokfei were married.  They lived in a mansion overlooking the South China Sea.  A year after they married, Gavin was born with a full head of hair and weighed a whopping 9.2 lbs! 

A truly happy princess, Linlokfei was full of life.  She traveled endlessly around the world accompanying Henry on business trips.  Little Gavin and Violet, his nanny came along as Linlokfei refused to leave them behind.  Wherever she went, onlookers stared at her flawless face of mesmerizing beauty.  Her complexion was creamy as milk and she was always immaculately dressed.

Henry was a workaholic.  He worked endlessly and every travel opportunity brought in more business that made the garment factory extremely successful, after having suffered a recession in the earlier years.  Their one and only son Gavin was a bundle of energy.  Linlokfei spent most of her time with him during his toddler years and she tired endlessly as she tried to keep up with him.

Linlokfei was obsessed with her figure.  She was average in weight but feared looking fat and ordinary.  Her buttocks was plump and round emphasizing her childbearing hips.  When she dressed, she found smart ways to camouflage the fullness of her rump.  Her favorite was a blue pair of linen slacks styled to make her look thin.  Its threads were loosening at the seams of her buttocks from overuse but she refused to part with her favorite pair of slacks.

The morning of her son’s fourth birthday was hectic and busy, filled with errands to do.  Linlokfei decided to wear her favorite pair one last time justifying that the already decaying threads could do no further damage.  Linlokfei was in for a big surprise!

She rushed in and out of the bank, then to the bakeshop to pick up food and cake, then back home to pick up Violet and the rest of the party supplies.  She had to be at school by 10:30 am, barely giving her time to take another breather and freshen up before hosting the party.

All the while she ran around doing errands, strange stares caught her eye.  Everyone was looking at her half giggling and chuckling for no apparent reason.  Passersby rushed to catch up with her stride, and then suddenly slowed down as they neared her, moving away while glancing at her with a wide grin.  Linlokfei thought the behavior was odd but chuckled at the delight feeling flattered that her beauty was being admired.

Confidently, she continued on greeting the guards at the entrance of the bank, sending a warm hello to the branch manager, returning to smile at every stranger that grinned at her bidding goodbye to the handsome young man at the cake shop.  He gave he the biggest smile of all and she in return was flattered to the high heavens that the young stranger seemed to have a crush on her.

Linlokfei arrived at school just in time to lay everything out on the tables.  A few minutes to go and the children would be coming into the hall.  Violet approached her.  “Excuse me Madam, but I thought you should know that you have a hole in your pants.”  “Thank you Violet, I shall tuck out my blouse to cover the hole.”  Violet stared at her in dismay.  “What’s wrong Violet?”  Her hand groped her behind in search for the tiny hole.  Yikes!!!  As Linlokfei began to feel her behind, not only did she feel a hole, she felt the lace of her underwear and strands of loose linen threads that had ripped apart right at the seam way beyond repair!  What she thought was a harmless peephole turned out to be a crack as big as a crater!

Panic set in.  There was no time to go home and change.  Linlokfei had to think of a quick fix.  She ran into the school pantry and borrowed an apron form the cleaning lady.  Henry arrived looking at her perplexed.  “Is your outfit a new trend?”  Linlokfei turned around and lifted the apron to show him the hole.  “Oh good God!  What the hell happened!?  Looks like a bulldog took a good bite out of your rump, ha! ha! ha!”

The children finally arrived.  “Hi mom!  Your apron is on the wrong side.  Shouldn’t you be wearing it in front?”  Linlokfei had no choice but to reveal the gaping hole on her behind.  How Gavin laughed!  “Oh mom, your underwear looks so pretty with all that lace sticking out!”  The children took turns lifting the apron to take a peek at the rip on the princess’ behind.  Mrs. Lee, the homeroom teacher tried her best to keep her composure but in the end could not help but laugh.  “Oh Madam, how did you get that hole?”

Linlokfei laughed out loud herself.  “Oh Mrs. Lee, today, I have made an absolute fool of myself!  On the other hand, I have learned to deal with shame.  You see, I walked around the mall all morning and wondered why strangers were looking at me and grinning.  Little did I know that they were all witnesses to this most embarrassing hole on my behind.  All the while I thought I was being admired for my grace and beauty.  And this handsome young man at the cake shop had the best laugh of them all.  Just as I turned around to exit the door, I bent down to pick up a coin that fell and my behind was in his full view right smack on his face no more than two feet away!”  Mrs. Lee gripped the hair on her head as she endlessly roared with laughter.

The party ended with giveaways for the children.  Henry headed back for the factory.  He whacked the behind of Linlokfei while planting a kiss on her cheek.  “You are the best princess, now please tell Mrs. Lee that her toupé is misplaced.” 

“Toupé!”  Linlokfei almost lost her composure.  “See you at dinner Henry.”  Linlokfei turned around to catch up with Gavin’s teacher.  “Mrs. Lee, thank you for being so patient with Gavin.  I know what a difficult boy he can be at times and Mrs. Lee… I hope you don’t mind my telling you but your toupé seems to be falling off your head.”

Linlokfei giggled endlessly as she left school hand in hand with Gavin and Violet.