I recently learned in my coaching seminar to be careful when using the “Why” question. Depending on the situation, asking why can sound judgmental.
Better to re-phrase the why with “tell me more…”
I bumped into an old friend I had not seen for quite some time. We greeted one another with an emphatic “how are you!” After a few exchanges she asked, “So where are you off to now?”
I replied, “I have to go to school to enroll for 2nd semester in sign language.”
She looked at me perplexed and asked, “WHY?” The why came across quite strong as if to say ”What in heaven’s name for?” I know she meant well but what one does not realize is that facial expression says it all.
I learned this in sign language. Communicating is so much more powerful when accompanied with gestures and facial expressions especially for the deaf because they can’t hear.
It’s the face and gestures that deliver meaning and impact to the sign.
So when I was faced with that powerful why question, I wanted to quickly reply and say, “Why not?” But nothing came out of my mouth because I was stunned at the impact of the why question to me. I felt I had done something wrong.
She’s an old friend and much as I wanted to share more of my accomplishments I chose to hold back. I was not willing to be grilled and questioned WHY.
It’s not like I committed a crime, I just have new discoveries in my life.
Why is such a powerful word, it can make or break the conversation. I am proud of my learning’s and new discoveries.
I dare say “WHY NOT?”