At one point living it up was fun!
There was always more than enough to cover.
After a while something inside of me became unsettled.
I grew bored and felt trapped.
I thought finding a better paying job would kill the restlessness.
I ended up having to start all over again.
I was mad at myself for a long time.
I just wanted to be happy and at ease with myself.
I was tired of being on the defense.
And then I woke up.
I finally decided that I'd had enough self-talk and self-pity!
I paced myself until I gained back my confidence.
Whatever my brand of happiness required, I was going to find it.
But first I had to find myself.
I listened to the birds every morning.
I pleaded my case to God and the Universe.
And then something extraordinary emerged.
One victory after another, my brand of happiness began taking shape.
It’s the kind of happiness that’s hard to describe.
It's not anything tangible or anything obvious on the outside.
But it's very big inside!
I am so close to the finish line.
This time now I am certain and I am happy.