Just a few days to go before he turns 87, my father decides to call of his dinner celebration.
He grumbles, “I’m not feeling well.”
It’s long overdue, finally and inevitably he has to undergo a dialysis.
It’s not the dialysis that’s worrying him but the whirling thoughts in his head that scare him about death and dying.
He does not sleep at night because he fears he won’t wake up.
He frets about the dialysis because he fears it’s going to be the beginning of his end.
I don’t have a way of gauging whether old people think this way or not.
I think that we’re all afraid of dying but that doesn’t mean we stop living?
Dad is not a talker. He’s never been one to talk especially about feelings.
I used to second-guess him but gave that up because it does me no good.
I was told that with old people, “just leave them be.”
I think about Betty White at 90.
Gosh! She looks, thinks and acts like she’s 70!
I think that death is all in the mind.
If you let it eat you up, you are toast!