Sisters chatting over dinner, mom lying in bed watching Modern Family.
I hear an intimate conversation going on at the dinner table. I approach the girls and stay wanting to be a part of the circle.
“We’re having a conversation mom.”
“Oh, sorry. If you need me I’ll be in my bedroom.”
It’s so nice and heartwarming to see that the girls have a very close relationship. There’s nothing like having a sister by your side.
Whether it’s to share stories about each other’s day or to confide in one another, half the battle is won when sisters are there for each other.
They turn to me and say “mom, poor Erica. She really needs someone to talk to.” Their cousin’s status on Twitter was revealed.
I reply “that’s why girls, be very grateful you have one another to trust and to lean on. No matter what, always remember that at the end of the day, when all hell breaks loose, at least you have each other to hang on to.”
A pity for me that with four siblings, I feel I am the odd ball out. Unable to relate and unable to be understood, I feel alone.
Can’t talk about my journey or confide in my worries. It’s all surface talk. Anything beyond small talk, eyes start rolling or concentration gets lost.
I think that they have had enough of putting up with “my kind of talk” that sounds all too repetitive and foreign in their language.
Or maybe it’s just hard to be in harmony when everyone is busy singing a different tune.
It’s not so much that I have chosen to walk away I just turned silent. Rather than be misunderstood or looked upon as someone speaking from another planet, best if I preserve my emotional energy.
It’s drains me to carry on talking without anyone really tuned in. Just as draining as it is for me to engage in meaningless surface talk.
Opposing ends are just so far apart. So I write and cook, bake and then write again. I run early mornings and other days I go to the gym.
I look at my daughters chatting endlessly. I am happy to see how tightly bonded they are. I was once tightly bonded with my sisters…