Frustration wears many hats.
I learned in one of my seminars that frustration happens when one of our 5 basic needs (according to Choice Theory by Dr. William Glasser, M.D.) are not being met. More often than not, frustration stems from a present relationship that is not going well either with a partner, a colleague or a family member. Sometimes it's a combination of the other basic needs such as Power, Fun, Freedom or Survival that are in conflict.
Whatever the case, I have learned for myself that when I am frustrated, rather than be quick to react, I pace myself looking within to see what is not going well in my present life. When I am able to identify the source and deal with it, I actually feel much better and ease up on the frustrating.
Everyone deals with frustration differently. This week alone, I was faced with successive frustrating situations resulting in crying, resignation, anger, rudeness and insensitivity.
I dealt with the tears offering understanding and I dealt with resignation by suggesting a solution. But with anger, rudeness and sensitivity I am challenged with making a counter offer. More often than not and in the moment, the individual is so heightened with frustration that he hears nothing, not even himself. Otherwise, I doubt he'd be speaking in a tone of voice that emits black tar that stains.
Dealing with frustration can be toxic. If it's mine to own then I take accountability. But if it happens to hit you being a spectator on the sideline, then it's unpleasant and uncomfortable. Even though I am not directly involved, I am tempted to say something but out of courtesy to the frustrated monster, I dare not challenge the dragon.
I am glad I know better now how to deal with my own frustration. God help that dragon monster! I wonder what it would take to extinguish the smoke that comes out of his nose. A good night’s sleep does not seem to do the trick! How can a hot wired dragon sleep well at night anyway!?
Tis’ the season to be jolly, fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la…