where the writers are
F R U S T R A T I O N

Frustration wears many hats.

I learned in one of my seminars that frustration happens when one of our 5 basic needs (according to Choice Theory by Dr. William Glasser, M.D.) are not being met.  More often than not, frustration stems from a present relationship that is not going well either with a partner, a colleague or a family member.  Sometimes it's a combination of the other basic needs such as Power, Fun, Freedom or Survival that are in conflict.

Whatever the case, I have learned for myself that when I am frustrated, rather than be quick to react, I pace myself looking within to see what is not going well in my present life.  When I am able to identify the source and deal with it, I actually feel much better and ease up on the frustrating.

Everyone deals with frustration differently.  This week alone, I was faced with successive frustrating situations resulting in crying, resignation, anger, rudeness and insensitivity.

I dealt with the tears offering understanding and I dealt with resignation by suggesting a solution.  But with anger, rudeness and sensitivity I am challenged with making a counter offer.  More often than not and in the moment, the individual is so heightened with frustration that he hears nothing, not even himself.  Otherwise, I doubt he'd be speaking in a tone of voice that emits black tar that stains.

Dealing with frustration can be toxic.  If it's mine to own then I take accountability.  But if it happens to hit you being a spectator on the sideline, then it's unpleasant and uncomfortable.  Even though I am not directly involved, I am tempted to say something but out of courtesy to the frustrated monster, I dare not challenge the dragon.

I am glad I know better now how to deal with my own frustration.  God help that dragon monster!  I wonder what it would take to extinguish the smoke that comes out of his nose.  A good night’s sleep does not seem to do the trick!  How can a hot wired dragon sleep well at night anyway!?

Tis’ the season to be jolly, fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la…

 

Comments
3 Comment count
Comment Bubble Tip

Rina, So true! Sometimes I am

Rina,

So true! Sometimes I am able to step back  and take a deep breath. The frustration is often triggered by hormones. I find that I let my frustration get out of control if I have not had enough rest, or am feeling poorly.

It's definitely hard to be on the receiving end of another's frustration if they react with anger or insensitivity. I'd rather walk away until they are ready to talk.

Annette

Comment Bubble Tip

Hi Annette!  Happy

Hi Annette!  Happy Holidays!!  Thanks for the moral support :-)  Putting it down on paper and posting in RR is not just good writing practice but actually great therapy!

Comment Bubble Tip

Your post is very thought

Your post is very thought provoking, Rina.  Frustration can, indeed, be toxic.  It's the ultimate feeling of being powerless and put upon, isn't it?

Do you know Jean-Paul Sartre's play, Huis Clos? A perfect portrayal of three people who are deeply frustrated and who are trapped together in a room, clawing at one another.  Sometimes, I feel that my own life is a little bit like that.  

May I wish you good night's sleeps, breathing space and the possibility to find your own peace of mind.