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A year of and neither HERE nor THERE

I was yearning for a year off so when the offer arrived I made up my mind even before the formal announcement.  It was a big and exciting challenge to take on.   But it required that I leave a very comfortable job of 9 years, my home away from home, and a familiar place that brought me fulfillment, love, security and contentment.  I chose to move away and leave my girls behind, coming home to see them only on weekends.  I let go of the only life I knew, being close to family with the desire to try something new.  I gave up everything that stayed close and loyal to me in exchange for a challenge I thought I could handle.  The move was easy and home visits on weekends were a breeze.  The life was good both ways that made coming and going here and there actually nice.

One day a few months down the road all hell broke lose.  Skeletons and monsters came flying out from all directions landing on my table.  Everything I lived for and believed in turned into a threat and holding on became a challenge.  Sleep became a struggle and ultimately, staying true to myself stumped me.   I let go of a good life for this?  Was I going to give up my self-worth for this?

I returned home a year later to the birth life I knew and my loved ones welcomed me back with open arms.  A look back at that year neither here nor there made me realize that either way something had to give or I had to let go.  I could not get into it, so I chose to get out of it in order to keep my innermost authentic self intact.