When my daughter Shanae and I wrote our book "Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? How to Think Like a Lady and Still Get the Man", it was offered as the woman's perspective on dating and relationships. We talked about the real *ish we go through in the crazy world of dating. Its intent was to make women laugh, think and go away feeling empowered. We did that! It was nominated for the best self-help book in 2011 by AALAS, and made the best selling ebook list by aalbc. Domestically and internationally it became a hot topic and a hot seller, landing on such sites as the CNN blog and resonating with women everywhere.
Reading it and writing it didn't mean you or I would never "mess up" or that you or I would never date the "wrong" guy again. But our hope was that it would lessen the times you woke up with that sick feeling in your stomach after someone didn't turn out to be who you imagined they were. It's purpose was to awaken women to what was "real" and to encourage us to see men and relationships without blinders on. Without the "fairytale" attached to it.
We wanted to reduce the number of times women got their hearts broken by falling for the illusion(words, empty promises and great sex) aka the smoke and mirrors. We proposed that the more "aware" or "awake" you are while dating, the less you will be hurt because you aren't being duped into thinking every guy you meet is the "one". We asked you to observe behavior by way of consistent action in the way he treated you, your kids(if applicable) and your family, to take time and to ask questions, and to take note, especially when something didn't feel right. We wanted you to get back to enjoying your life, taking care of self and living one moment, one hour and day at a time- happily with or without a man.
It was and continues to be about choices. The choice to stay or go. The choice to be heard in lieu of keeping silent to avoid ruffling feathers(or losing him). The choice to accept mediocre treatment or keep it moving in search of better. The choice to accept partial relationships just to say "I have a man" or to keep your eyes on a better prize.
We say the key to successful dating is being fully present, having self worth and staying conscious throughout the process and not being fooled by what you "wish" it was but rather that you accept or not accept "what is". Successful dating is happy dating, being honest with yourself, knowing what you want and need, and not being afraid to be alone until you get it. Operating in truth through the process. That's it, that's all.
****Upcoming books in next 6 to 12 months...Shanae Hall's super hilarious and on-point book "For Single Ladies Only" due out June 14, 2013, our much talked about follow up book "Is Married the New Single? The Truth About the American Dream" and a re-release of "Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? with new Forward and a new chapter! We shall keep you posted! Much love to all of you who continue to show love, buy our books and support our message. You can find me on Twitter @thinklikealady and on Facebook under my name.
Causes Rhonda Frost Supports
American Red Cross, Hosea Feed the Homeless and Hungry, Battered Women's Shelters