When my daughter Shanae and I wrote our book "Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? How to Think Like a Lady and Still Get the Man", it was offered as the woman's perspective on dating and relationships. We talked about the real *ish we go through in the crazy world of dating. Its intent was to make women think, hopefully laugh some and go away feeling empowered. We did that! It was nominated for best self-help book by AALAS, and made the best selling ebook list by aalbc. Domestically and internationally it became a hot topic and a hot seller, landing on such sites as the CNN blog and resonating with women everywhere.
Reading it and writing it didn't mean we would never "mess up" or that you or I would never date the "wrong" guy again. Instead our hope was that it would lessen the times women woke up feeling "duped" with that sick feeling in their stomachs and pain in their hearts. It's purpose was to awaken women to what was "real" and to encourage us to see men and relationships without blinders on, without the "fairytale" attached to it and to talk about how critical self-love is in dating. We shared lessons, triumphs, breakdowns, breakthroughs and interviews(with men and women) that will make you re-think the way you see and do things.
We wanted to reduce the number of times women got their hearts broken by falling for the illusion(words, empty promises and great sex) aka the smoke and mirrors. We proposed that the more "aware" or "awake" you are while dating, the less you will be hurt because you aren't thinking every guy you meet is the "one" and the more tuned in you are to all aspects of him the better your odds. We asked you to observe behavior by way of consistent action in the way he treated you, your kids(if applicable) and your family, to take time and to ask questions, and to take note, especially when something didn't feel right. We wanted you to get back to enjoying your life, taking care of self and living one moment, one hour and day at a time- happily with or without a man.
We said that it was and continues to be about choices. The choice to stay or go. The choice to be heard in lieu of keeping silent to avoid ruffling feathers(or losing him). The choice to accept mediocre treatment or keep it moving in search of better. The choice to accept partial relationships just to say "I have a man" or to keep your eyes on a better prize, but ultimately we want you to do that which works for you.
We say the key to successful dating is being fully present, having self worth and staying conscious throughout the process and not being fooled by what you "wish" it was but rather that you accept or not accept "what is". Successful dating is happy dating, being honest with yourself, knowing what you want and need, and not being afraid to be alone until you get it, operating in truth through the process. That's it, that's all.
If you are dating, in a relationship or plan to be soon, get your copy of Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man today!
****Also check out Shanae Hall's super hilarious and on-point book "For Single Ladies Only" released June 14, 2013, and by Winter 2014, check out our much talked about follow up book "Is Married the New Single? The Truth About the American Dream". Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter! Much love to all of you who continue to show love, buy our books and support our message. You can find me on Twitter @thinklikealady and @AuthorRhondaFrost on Facebook under my name.
Causes Rhonda Frost Supports
American Red Cross, Hosea Feed the Homeless and Hungry, Battered Women's Shelters