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Thinking ~ Men & Women

The last few times I’ve been at the laundry, I’ve especially noticed a few different younger couples and their approach. It seems that the women usually fall into a pattern of giving the men precise instructions while the men listen, rather than taking the lead, or expressing that they’ve got it. It then became clear, that I have done this as well; and then I began thinking of the other scenarios where this happens.

After becoming more aware of this tendency in myself, now if my significant other and I do laundry together, we load in different machines, but we do it separately. I find that it’s best if I go away because I too will fall into a mode where I start making comments, directions, questions. It’s an odd thing, really, and yes, there are exceptions. But, there is a fine line, and it’s one area where the difference in how men and women go about certain tasks becomes very apparent.

Something I hear often also is when a couple has been together so long, the man always defers to the woman: Whatever she says, wants, approves. It’s fascinating and maybe I’m just seeing the small percentage and this isn’t how it is across many long standing relationships. It makes me feel that we as women and all of our hormones and emotions are actually quite difficult and moody, whereas our men without the hormones, etc., etc., are able to be more carefree to an extent because they don’t internalize and overanalyze as much as women and they may hold a grudge, but they seem more equipped to “let go.”

But it’s these emotions and hormones and internalization that also make women special and capable of so much. Men are special too, but in very different, practical, rock solid ways.

Comments
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I know when to take orders

I know naught about laundry past the basics that water and soap clean clothes and then they must be dried. Beyond those foundamentals, I'm in perilous waters, and the clothes will suffer. Fortunately, my wife now takes care of the laundry, except I help fold, hang and put things away.

But in other matters regarding organization and process, I'm always ready with a plan. She tends to be linear, and I think in abstractions. We're a good combination. She and her activist friends take advantage of my nature, though, asking me, do you have any idea about how to do this, Michael? Yes! I can come up with a plan! Let's create a process! 

I've been pondering my wife and me and our approaches for a number of years. She does get her way but it's often because I have given a matter little thought while she thought about it a great deal. I'm more likely to 'make do' with food, clothing, furniture and appearance, while she has very definite ideas about all of them. 

Those differences are important for our relationship. We become a mess if we tilt too far one way. 

Enjoyable post. Cheers

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That's interesting, Michael.

That's interesting, Michael. You only confirm for me that I suppose on the whole minus the exceptions, men's work typically doesn't involve the laundry room. You also remind me that like you and your wife, my sig. other helps fold, but he has a different way of folding pants than I do. We're both set in our folding ways, so we accept it. Sometimes I refold my pants :)

Yes! Women do tend to give things more thought to a fault. I think we're hard wired that way.

Thanks for sharing and reading, Michael. It sounds like you and your wife are a great complimentary pair!