It was an ordinary beginning to the day yesterday, except for the jaggedness that I felt inside of me the day before that. My emotions and feelings were in motion, it felt like there were pieces of me flying out of control for the past couple of days. I have since calmed down, feel great, and realize why I need to spend so much time alone. I am effected by energies around me, especially those that are prone to negativity. That is behind me now—until my next surge.
Change. It has been there waiting to happen. Maybe it’s the shifting weather. I knew that my hair was getting to me—too long, unruly and all I do is put it up in a ponytail most of the time to get it out of my way. It’s fun to shift my head around and feel my hair swing around in the wind, but I like challenging myself to cut it off every now and again. It’s a good test of letting go of attachments—to what is traditionally associated with femininity in our culture. Hair is such an important adornment for a woman. And really what got me on this track was seeing photos yesterday on, I believe, Yahoo News, of a few actresses that had gone from long locks to short pixie cuts. I felt inspired. I have done this style only two other times in my life. The last time was two years ago. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again, and reminded myself not to make the same mistake, even if I thought I needed such a drastic change again. But was it a mistake? It’s difficult when asked, why—
“Why did you cut all your hair off?”
“Well, I needed a change. It will grow back.”
“Yeah, but you have such beautiful hair. You should have left it long.” Etc., etc.
So, after feeling inspired and looking at an old photo I had of when I did go short, I decided I would do it. When I get the bug, though, I want to follow through right then and there. I made a call to one salon I felt comfortable with. No appointments available on such short notice. I hadn’t given up. I left for work and on my walk to the office, I stopped in at a salon near another salon that I had previously gone to for a perm, but wasn’t very happy with it. After finding someone, it was still early, I booked an appointment for that afternoon for a pixie cut.
Two things fascinate me from this experience. One, do men ever have days like this where they get a whim and want to follow through spontaneously, almost frenetically. And two, do men ever feel they need a change and if so, I wonder what sorts of changes they make. It seems to me that men keep it simple, or at least a bit simpler than women. I could be wrong, and I know there are some complicated men out there, but it just makes me wonder.
I need to settle on a new photo for my profile because I’d rather it reflect the present.