Many times we find ourselves in awe when we discover things about family, friends, and acquaintences we never would have dreamed may happen. Scrolls of literature could be written on the mistakes I have made in my life and the things I have done in my travels that may or may not be acceptable to some, should they find reason to judge me for my actions, thoughts and words. This said, I have no room to judge those who judge me, for in doing so I would be a hypocrite. I have longed to meet the perfect person and to find someone who could tell me the perfect way to be. When I find this person, I will learn all I can from them and then figure out a way to create a machine to send me back to my birth and from then to the present I will make all the necessary changes to become that perfect person. Until then, though, I will live. I will take one day at a time. I will help those in need and I will shed tears for those with nothing to do in their lives but judge others, for theirs is a life being wasted.
The prompting of this little blog comes from a Facebook comment that was made and directed at me and the person in my life I call my best friend and love very much. The attack was vindictive and the things being spoken following the comment harnassed hatred and scourn from other family members I haven't spoken to in years. My life seems to have become an open book and a target of attack by family members that have had nothing to do with me for the majority of my life. Their opinion now, is that having deleted many of them from the social website that has become such a large part of everyone's life, that I will lead a sad and lonely life. I question how getting rid of those who have never been there is going to change anything. It is a most curious thing, and though troubling in nature, I have found humor in their words and comments.
So little do they know about that which they speak of, and the fuel that continues to build their opinions is not unlike watching the "Young and the Restless."
I have been accused of "bragging about how great" my life is. Probably coming from my posting of successes in my education, the job I am currently in, and the place I currently live. It's funny how when we mention good things, people hate what we say, yet if we mention the bad or the negatives in life they are all over it like maggots on a corpse. I remember words spoken by Paul Newman in the movie, "Absence of Malice": "If its bad news it's on the front page. If it's good news nobody cares."
Having been through other relationships, jobs, various states of residence, losing a house, being homeless and then bringing myself and those with me up and out of a hole, and moving forward, I feel I have the right to brag all I want. Those that cannot relate should find the zipper they need to close their tongues inside their hatred filled heads for those that push on and try.
Going back to the part where it was said that I would be sad and lonely without these people in my life I must resort to an analogy. I have, on many occasions, purchased lottery tickets in hopes of having the millions of dollars I could possibly win if my numbers came up. As most can relate to, I have never had a million dollars. So when the numbers come, and they are not mine, I wrinkle up the losing ticket and I toss it into a trash bin. I have never had it, so do I get depressed because it's gone? Um.... Nope. These relatives mentioned above are nothing more than losing lottery tickets. They were never there...so have I lost them? Nope! Life goes on...and life is good...and I think the road ahead is far better than many seem to think it will be.
I reach for my best friend's hand. I squeeze it. Our eyes meet. We turn and walk with the suns rays shining from the heavens in front of us where the future is.