With eyes screwed shut the air explodes out my mouth and nose again. Another set of sneezes escape the confines of my body. How can one person sneeze so much? I reach for a tissue as another sneeze escapes. Where did they all come from and where are they going to now? I imagine there's a set number of sneezes in the world floating around, and when you've been really creative or happy or good then the Sneeze Fairy throws them at you. Just. For. Fun.
He's flapping his little gossamer wings from the corner as I type this between sneezes. He thinks I don't see him, but I do. The corners of my eyes are very sharp. We'll see how much fun he has crushed between my palms or with a knuckle sandwich in his belly!
Just imagine an end to all sneezes! With the Sneeze Fairy gone, all the sneezes would be free to live out their immortal lives outside of our bodies, doing their sneeze things; going to sneezeschool; drinking sneezeshakes; eating sneezeburgers, or snizza; writing snivels or snoems; riding around on their little sneecycles. Heaven!
But I can't kill the little bugger - he's too quick for me. Every time I'm about to pounce he throws another sneeze bomb at me. It's hopeless. I suffer again and again. Doesn't he have better things to do with his time than make me sneeze? Why me?
I'll keep trying to squash his little buzzing body to a pulp. If you suddenly realise everybody's stopped sneezing, let me know and we'll celebrate together before the hiccups get us. Oh, did I forget to mention the Hiccup Fairy? Watch out for that one. We don't want to get that one mad, trust me! Hope the two aren't friends. Maybe I should just leave the fairies alone?