I’m a man – well, I’d like to think so. I have desires as other men do (particularly those heterosexually inclined), but I always blink in surprise at the emails I end up netting in my junk email folder. Today, I got an offer from the bra boutique for the bra styles that I want, giving me the comfort and support I need. Strapless. Seamless. Sporty. Sexy. I was invited to browse the latest styles to select sizes from AA to LL (I guess the feminine lingerie alphabet doesn’t go all the way to ZZ?). All I had to do to find my bra was to choose my pattern, color, and support level (I’m guessing AA needs less support than ZZ?) while comparing top brands and prices. I can just imagine myself pretty in pink, wonderful in white, beautiful in blue, orgasmic in orange, younger in yellow... with a sizzling style, I’ll find them all for less! Very practical yet sexy bras await my discerning eye to fit my body type (male?) and my lifestyle (non-cross-dressing?). Do I really want to save big on the sexiest and sleekest bras by finding quality name-brand bras for less? My nipples are tingling in pre-support anticipation!
What of buying candy in bulk? How do they know I have a sweet tooth that needs satisfying on a grand scale by ordering gourmet candy online? Finding my favorite flavor jelly bean is only limited by my imagination as they have exactly every flavor I can imagine (imagine that!).
And lastly, getting an email from America’s most affordable pet pharmacy just makes me want to go out and buy a dog in a cage. For in Taiwan (where I have lived for almost eight years now), that is exactly where most pets spend most of their time alive – living in some kind of protective custody behind bars, behind an imported wilting flower of once-glorious beauty left in the Asian tropical sun too long. I can get free shipping on orders of $35 or more, along with the pet care low price guarantee. By shopping now I get to save big bucks on frontline with their 20% discount!
Should I click on that imbedded link and the ensuing purchase buttons? My wife’s in the other room and the temptation is growing stronger the more I re-read this junk with flabbergasted expressions running all over my face. Maybe I could get a dog and a bra. My wife may never find either if I keep plying her with gourmet jelly beans in bulk. You never know, one man’s junk is another man’s perfectly balanced lifestyle.
Wish me luck! Click!