And now, in other news, 11 people in Kenya, accused of being witches, were burned to death...I was watching CNN Headline news -- Prime News Edition -- this week, with the sound off. They had four stories in quick succession, fast-paced even for them. None of them needed sound, just some photos, video and a line across the bottom of the screen.

The whole thing took less than two minutes, but it was riveting:

"7-year-old molests classmate in North Carolina!"

"Tatum O'Neal caught buying crack!"

"1 wife, 5 dead husbands!" (There was a photo of an elderly woman in what seemed like a prison jumpsuit, looking slightly perturbed.)

And the one with the best video clip (it's the second item in the Fox News video above):"The thong bandits!" Guys wearing thong underwear on their heads, robbing a convenience store. You're waiting for the dumb one to come in wearing one backwards with the thin string in front.

There you are. The state of the Union. (I added the exclamation marks, not that they were necessary.)No John King "Minority Report"-style magic map dancing. No best political team on television analysis required. This was just pure, well, news.