Today we did something that I consider brave and out of the ordinary for me. We've been creating a fundraiser for our peace project, The Bead People International on a site called Indie Go Go. It requires that we directly ask people to get involved and to donate money.
All day long I've been trying to figure out why this is so difficult for me. I guess the bottom line, so to speak, is that it requires risk. I risk rejection. Or worse, that people will think me one of those money-hungry capitalists that I reject.
Or maybe that is just where I hide my feelings. There are still old patterns lurking about not deserving, not being good enough, not whatever. Those of you who have been following my blog are aware of many of these encounters with old programming. I continue to clear.
See how confused I am about where this comes from. A creative person must ask for the sale of the book, the bead person, the painting, the whatever in order to continue to create. I suck at this generally. I actually carry Bead People with me and I pass them out to little girls in coffee shops, to moms in malls, to strangers and friends alike. I have given away a hundred Bead People in the past two months just because I wanted to. It was the right moment, the right person.
One time I gave away Bead People to a whole table of women at a conference and they threw money at me. That shocked me. They wanted to contribute to the project.
That is the part I have the hardest time understanding. When you create something as lovely as the Bead People and their story, you can't take credit for the creation. It becomes a divine object, a thing to be shared, a vehicle to drive us to a new place. Robert Fritz, a great thinker I studied with, understands this better than I do. He says that once we have created, we have to let go of the creation. It now has its own place in the world and doesn't belong to us anymore. I hoard my creations--keep them locked in tiny cells (or megabytes) and never turn on the lights. I mistakenly think they belong to me. They don't.
This has never been as clear to me as it is with The Bead People. Those little travelers want to go all over the world--with or without me. I just need to get out of their way. I need to be generous enough to ask others to contribute money, to help spread them around. That twists my brain a bit--be generous enough to ask for help.
So, I pass my rambling thought on to you. Are you generous enough to let your creations be in the world? To ask others to help? To ask me to help? I'll practice this way of being if you will.
Please visit http://www.indiegogo/the-bead-people-on-the-go-go and help out my little friends.
Also, you may want to sign up for Robert Fritz's newsletter. It is one of the few things I read fully every time it comes in. He is the author of The Path of Least Resistance and has profound things to say about creating the life you want.
Your generous friend,