Dreams and Nightmares
Rereading the supportive and poetic messages you sent before my heart surgery, I suddenly realized how much I’ve missed you. I truly have. It’s astonishing how close I feel to you. Our connection via Red Room, gave me the courage to keep smiling as I envisioned light from the candles you lit illuminating my bed, doctors, and my faltering heart, and ascending high into the universe along with your prayers and good thoughts, my name attached. Your actions on my behalf, undoubtedly, contributed to my uncommonly fast recovery, and also restored my tattered faith in humankind.
When the medical team gathered around my bed prior to wheeling me into the operating theatre, I told them that I was lying in the hand of Buddha and that each one of them was Buddha to me during that time, whether they wanted to be or not. They seemed not to mind although I fell asleep so quickly I can only recall a fleeting glimpse of smiles.
During the whole ordeal I was calm but the day after I got home nightmare/dreams revealed how close I had felt to departing this life.
1. I was hanging on to the outside edge of San Francisco’s Bay Bridge moving hand-over-hand, struggling to get to the other side, the safe side. Beneath me the grayish water of the Bay beckoned. Mosquitoes swarmed. I was frightened.
2. The following night I dreamt I was in a small swimming pool located inside a shed. My long deceased niece, wearing a skimpy pink bathing suit, was in the water with me. We didn't talk but I wondered why she was there. 3. In the final nightmare/dream I was in a large public pool. The water was stagnant. Someone handed me a plastic bag containing a huge exotic dead bird/fish. Take it to the other side, they requested. Hanging on to the pool edge, not being able to swim, I held the creature in its plastic bag in one hand and edged along the cement of the pool, to the other side. Dripping, exhausted, the bird/fish, it’s head out of the bag, it’s sharp beak looking ominous, I headed down steep wooden steps where I saw the daughter of my recently deceased sister and her son. Help me, I yelled, please help me! They turned their backs. I awoke.
So there you have it. Some of the meanings are obvious others are curious but probably only to me. Years ago while going through the aftermath of divorce, I had so many nightmares that I began writing them down in a dream book. Some of my dreams were prophetic, prompting friends to say, “Please don’t dream about me.”
One such dream concerned Mother Theresa. We were having tea together when Mother suddenly clutched her chest and said "I’m having a coronary occlusion." The next part of the dream was a newspaper headline declaring, “Mother Teresa hospitalized, Coronary Occlusion." The dream seemed so real that I called a woman I knew who had traveled the world with Mother Teresa and did two documentaries about her. “Pat, Mother is fine,” she said. “You are probably picking up on her recent birthday.” But, to my friend's uncomfortable bewilderment, a few weeks later Mother Teresa suffered a coronary occlusion and was hospitalized, according to international news reports.”
So there you have it.
Sweet dreams, my friends, sweet dreams.
Causes Pat Montandon Supports
PETA, Women for Women, Amnesty International, Children as the Peacemakers, Peace to The Planet