Have you ever wanted to cry until no tears were left? That’s how I’m feeling. The reality of facing major heart surgery on Monday and not having anyone to hold me while I sob is sobering. I’m the kind of person who does it, if it has to be done, whatever it is, without complaint. I shut off my feelings, acknowledging that it’s self-pity, and telling myself to get on with it. But all of a sudden, after a huge week with photographers filming my home, (a home I created, I’m happy to say), for a spread in Architectural Digest, I wanted to let it all out with a loooong, scream and lots of poor me stuff. Sweets help, though. I found a box of lollipops I had stashed away...I love lollipops...and have already eaten six, coconut, chocolate, orange, more coconut, root beer, weeping the whole time.
Stand by me; offer me your presence.
Your ears and your love
acknowledge my pain. It is so real and ever present.
I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts.
Causes Pat Montandon Supports
PETA, Women for Women, Amnesty International, Children as the Peacemakers, Peace to The Planet