In God's heart I am His scandalously chased lover. I am His beloved. I am seen and loved for all I am and all I will be. God's heart knows my heart. He says, "I love your heart. Your spirit is sweet". He says this because like a lover, He sees what I can not. Where I see hardness and weeds, He sees flowers signifying hope amongst the rubble.
Somewhere along the way, my own heart has been crushed and jaded and so I've hid it. From so many. I've erected walls to protect it. I've shunned much to ward off any possibility of pain. I've adopted tearlessness. I've shut down. I cringe at sappy movies and romanticism.
But in God's heart, I am His beloved. And He longs for me. The romance between bride and bridegroom. He suspires to sweep me off my feet.
I am a harlot and He knows. He knows all. But still. He loves me all the same.
"Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music, and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and the beauty of flesh and the living colors of the earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to love, I who love love?" -Eugene O'Neill, "The Great God Brown"
He remembers me when I was young. He saw me dance and sing and love. He sees me in the future and knows I will dance and sing and love again. Today, He asks, "Beloved, dance for Me, sing with Me, you who love love, you who love Me."
And I do. Because I am beginning to see who I am in God's heart.