Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Step right up and read stories both salacious and miraculous! Only fifteen dollars for the Grand Tour of Tented! That’s three fins to meet the Great Masturbator! Three Lincolns to explore a post-apocalyptic future where every clown has his very own catamite! Yes, my friends, these stories are guaranteed to amaze, beguile, and captivate. That’s the ABC’s, my boy. Stay close, you might learn something. We have acrobats ready to assume positions, knife-throwers blade in-hand, and a Hall of Mirrors to reflect your deepest desires!