Some of you who know me well know I have a mild speech impediment. Most of the time, I can out-think it, being careful and aware of what I'm saying as I'm saying it, forming phonemes and so on with effort. The more tired I get - or, say, if I have a drink - the less that works, and the more likely I am to mushmouth a few sound groups.
Sometimes that turns into another word - completely by accident. For example, I have told a young women (who, of course, was young, pretty, and scandalized) that the bathrooms were at the end of the "whoreway" instead of "hallway." I've asked people if I could "have" them instead of "help" them, and suggested they have a good "lay" instead of "day." Yep.
On my chapter-a-day trek through A Coventry Christmas by Becky Cochrane, there's a scene in Chapter 19 that made me laugh out loud. I'd forgotten it. Keelie and Evan are in a restaurant, and she first calls him a chicken - which the waitress overhears and thinks Keelie's is barking out an order to her - and then a bit later the waitress is nearby when Keelie jokes about feeding dog biscuits to children.
I completely understand these moments.
Chapter the Nineteenth (Or, They Whiten the Teeth and Give Kids Shiny Coats)
Beyond the awesomeness that is that dinner date and botched conversation, Evan and Keelie are settling into life in Coventry with the appropriate mix of happiness and absolute terror over what they've done. Then - oh! THEN! Chapter Nineteen, you are my favourite. Again, I'm trying to avoid spoilers, but Keelie's visit to Animal Planet makes me so freaking happy every damn time.
Coveted Coventry Moments: