What seems as inevitable as death and taxes is the average person's need for acceptance. We see young people dressing the way their peers do, attending the concerts their friends attend, texting and gaming as their fellow teens do.
While we might hope that grownups are past the need for approval, it's easy to see that all of us feel more connected, even more at home in our own skins, when we have the comfort and fun of friends who experience life as we do. No matter how wealthy or beautiful, we feel more whole when we are laughing and sharing meals and movies, hikes and dances, with those we care about.
I suspect that is a positive characteristic, not a weakness built into the human personality. Can you imagine how boring it might be if we felt no urge for hanging out with our buddies?
Would you feel very motivated at work if you were indifferent to how coworkers and bosses viewed you? Of course, we're lucky there's a happy medium, where we don't have to pay attention to every person's opinion, but we GET to choose which perspectives can make our work and our life more satisfying.
How many relationships, whether with family, friends or lovers, would be fulfilling if we didn't put our heart and soul into a mutually giving connection, where all involved knew they mattered.
What seems sad to me is how often men and women hold back from expressing their deep caring, so the other persons might doubt how important they really are.
Just as we must pay taxes, and know the inevitability of our demise, so does it seem important that we accept our natural need for companionship and intimacy, When we are clear about our interrelatedness, then we will hopefully be able to say "I love you. I care. I am there for you." How wonderful that will be when we count on our loving connections just as much as we count on death and taxes.
Causes Moreah Vestan Supports
Trees for Life, the environment, Nonviolent Communication, homeless shelters