Creativity..where does it come from?  Does Joy, Pain or Love trigger it?  Are we born with it, is it passed down in our genes, there are so many avenues to go down, to try and figure out where it comes from.  I still haven’t worked out where my main source really comes from!  All I know, is that it happens at the most obscure moments, like when I am drying my hair, or brushing my teeth or I could say that it comes to me, when I am not thinking about anything!  It’s when I am in a free state of mind, that my daydreaming enables me to be at my most creative.  My mind is not focusing on any one thing and it’s the occasions when I allow myself the luxury to absorb myself in a meditative state that I am at my most productive - in these moments I can write some of my most inspiring thoughts.

However when I am trying to give my mind direction and a script to follow, this is when I experience writers block, the more I think about what I am trying to deliver, the more I slip down the slippery slope of thought amnesia.

After months of proof reading and procrastinating, I have finally let go of my manuscript.  It’s been quite a scary process but I have had to make the decision to let it go.  I have realized that after months of self-analysis that I am never going to find it a perfect work of art.  I have, however got an incredible amount of love and passion for it; this is because my book holds all of my thoughts that I put together during the first year after the death of my dad.  I will always feel blessed to have been given the gift of self-expression through my poetry, as it’s this that has freed me of my pain and given me the joy for living.

But why oh why can’t I write a press release?!  I’ve figured out that I am going to stop trying to force my mind and instead allow it to wander and eventually it will find the words that it is looking for to try and encompass what truth I am failing to recognize about my own thoughts.  It's only then that I will be able to write my press release and get my book the publicity that it needs to help others who have experienced grief.

I wrote the following poem to try and help me see, that what I have in front of me is a blank canvass for me to do with it, whatever I wish to do.  I just need to continue having self-belief and the power to dream great dreams.  I do hope that you are imprinting your own uniqueness on your blank canvas, because it’s that which tells your own life story.  Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  I do appreciate your time and any comments that you may wish to add.  Have a lovely day/night

A blank canvas

There lies in front of me, a clear blank canvas,

for me to imprint on it my own uniqueness.

There's everything to gain and nothing to lose,

my dreams are the inspiration that I always choose to use.

What's in reach is not out of view,

I am the key holder, to make my dreams come true.

Sandcastles are built out of millions of grains,

but my dreams are built out of, the thoughts I have ingrained.

When I have released them into the realms of the world,

they will come back to me, to create a calm globe.