I’ve done it.
For the best part of the last two and a bit years I have been living in a dreamland state of grief, happiness, life and always being prepared to expect the unexpected, only to wake up yesterday to the realization that all that I have strived to achieve since the death of my gorgeous dad in November 2008, has been put to good use and I have finally signed off the completion of my book ‘conversations with dad’.
I can’t quite put into words the wave of emotions that has overtaken me since I got the news to say my book has gone to print (I really never expected to feel like this) I’ve gone from excitement, to fear, to numbness, to finally a sense of relief.
It’s been a journey of self-doubt, self-elation and self-realization and I am pleased to say that I am enjoying every aspect of this journey. The fear that I have created has been the biggest obstacle that I have had overcome and I have pushed through it with all the strength and determination that I could muster.
My biggest critic has been my inner mind and I have had numerous arguments with myself about my ability to be able to achieve the finished product, but I am pleased to say that the thing that has got me to this point is my gut instinct, where would we be without it?! (thanks to my Mam for always encouraging me to go with my instinct).
The biggest life lesson that I have taken from this whole experience is that, the dreams that you hold in your minds eye, are what build you those castle’s in the sand. My idea for the book started of as a very bright image in my mind but at times that imaged was dimmed by my lack of commitment, my self doubt and my ability to criticize my own talent, but someone kept pulling me through and turning the light back on to that very first image that I had and what I have been left with now is a book that looks exactly like I imagined it would. My message is this “If I can do it, then anyone can”……please keep building those sandcastles, they may get washed away, they may get trod on, they may become grains of sand, but we all have the ability to keep building them back up until they match the image that we created in your own minds eye. Enjoy the journey and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.