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Michael Seidel's Blog

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Apr.07.2014
I’m afraid my awakening wasn’t anything special.  I followed the worn route many accident survivors use of asking who, what, where for several minutes, listening for clues as my thinking twirled.  Music night at the Green Springs and the BMW’s dark night flight and subsequent accident...
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Apr.07.2014
Sing became today's mantra.  Don't worry about what it is.  The reaction came after my meditation.  Work toads lurked on my mood's edges.  Work toads come up when work goes down, just one of those work things multiplied by three or four or a google.  Early morning meetings...
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Apr.06.2014
Another writing day has found an end.  I wrote like crazy once again.  Today, as yesterday, I've noticed that I don't drink much of my coffee as I'm writing.  I'd been noticing that more frequently and decided to think more on it.  I used to believe my Mexican mocha fueled my...
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Apr.06.2014
I'd leveled off into a delicate balance between grief over losses and life.  I can look outside and see Walt pick up his newspaper in my mind in the mornings, a memory of his routines and our relationship, recalling how I would see him and wave and call hello.  I can go into the yard and...
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Apr.06.2014
"He's back." People ran by my apartment shouting.  Windows closed and deep into my music composition, I didn't know what they were talking about, not even sure I understood the words.  They sounded like 'he's back' but maybe it was something else.  Crossing to the door with...
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Apr.05.2014
I felt like I was about to die.  I know that's over dramatic.  Although I couldn't breathe - meaning, you know, I was gasping through chapped lips and a dry, open mouth with a wheeze that belonged to an old and severely injured vacuum cleaner - and my heart pounded in my sweaty face,...
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Apr.05.2014
I dreamed that I avoided death's kiss the other night.  It was one of those complicated dreams I have, beginning with a dinner party sort of function.  I portrayed myself as myself in this dream.  I didn't recognize the other people in it and there were many.  We were...
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Apr.05.2014
I'm free, I recognize with a little surprise partially through my meditation.  I'm free. Different freedoms exist and I've always enjoy those freedoms.  My freedom has come from the emotional and intellectual cells and prisons built in my mind.  I was the construction crew for some...
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Apr.04.2014
Time for those first world blues, sung to you by me.  "Power up your computer, and wait while everything starts. "Plug-ins start crashing, you know nothing will respond. "Go through fifteen minutes of cursing, gritting your teeth all the while. "When it finally starts running, you find the...
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Apr.03.2014
Today's meditation found me listening to the sunshine and rain falling.  They take turns, as though they're playing a game for a while but then they're both falling together, rain splattering the window through a haze of sunshine, drawing me up out of my meditation. I listen for the sound of...
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Apr.03.2014
She was missing for a while.  I searched for her on the net, not quite doxxing, no, not to that level.  I just peeked into forums and blogs, traced her movements a bit, watched for signs of life...or death.  I wondered if she'd died and searched the web for such news.  The web...
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Apr.03.2014
2014 has digested a quarter of its allotment, a sliver of light swallowed fast.   March, I hardly knew you.  You and I shared so many days together and yet I don't think I saw much more of you than your chameleon face.  April has arrived as rainy as its legendary expectations,...
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Apr.02.2014
All the seasons think their gift is the greatest.  Winter, an eternal old man, is long deaf to the complaints about what he does to the world.  Seeing the beauty in the snow and ice, he dumps cold where he can, enjoying how it stands still the people and their hopes, stopping them and...
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Apr.01.2014
I experienced a setback and finally lost the writing groove.  Not my doing.  The loss was gifted to me by that loyal worker, my computer. I don't understand how it happened. Two days ago, I write several thousand words, amplifying a scene.  I further edited it yesterday but today,...
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Mar.30.2014
I was visiting with writing friends the other day when they revealed their childhood close calls. This was triggered by a tale I told about another writer's story about being raped and left for dead while vacationing in Germany as a college student.  She then used the incident as part of her...
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