Public nudity fascinates me. Whenever I see naked people, I have a habit of looking.
We've dealt with naked driving this year but what about naked dining? How would you feel about ordering your latte sandwiched between a couple of naked people?
For the record, I do not want to order anything hot while naked. That just seems like you're inviting the Gods to play a practical joke on you. I don't want to be the butt of a practical joke involving Gods, hot beverages, and being naked.
Sometimes, seeing myself in a naked, I think I've been the butt of enough jokes.
All this comes to mind because San Francisco passed a public nudity ban.
It barely passed.
Any time public nudity is on display, I'm at the front talking about it. As I say, naked people fascinate me.
Actually, what fascinates me is that humans work so hard to not be naked except in very controlled environment. Here in middle class America, we buy clothes in a variety of styles, textures, materials and colors so we can plan to not be naked in every situation that comes to mind. Magazines and advertisements perpetually sell opportunities for not being naked and clothing ourselves to spare others of our nakedness. If we weren't invited to events for which we don't have the proper clothes for not being naked, we address it by making something or buying something. "What shall I wear to that wedding? I don't want to go naked." "No, you really shouldn't go naked. That might upstage the bride, and it really is her day."
Up here in Ashland, we've been treating to a number of local naked legends. I'm not one of them, although I do walk around the house naked sometimes. It's a tricky thing, because we have lots of windows, including two that flanked the front door facing the street. I sidle past, keeping on eye out for someone looking in. I figure if they look, I'll leap back, leaving them to wonder, "Was that guy naked?" It'll give them something to think about.
I may be naked but I'm not inconsiderate.
Naked Bicycle Girl was an Ashlander known for riding her bicycle without clothing, watching parades, and shopping. She left town a few years ago, leaving us with a dearth of public people. Naked Man wore shoes and a fanny pack and headband but was otherwise naked strolling around town. Naked Man raised a fuss because he was walking past the elementary and secondary kids, where children might view his nakedness. NM was unaware he was passing children and apologized for maybe offending them by his human body, and changed course. I haven't seen him in a while.
Perhaps given the scarcity of naked people walking around, I should take up the mantle of being The Naked Walker. I could add disrobing to my daily routine of walking to the coffee shop to write.
That won't work, of course. I've already addressed being naked with hot beverages. She who would disapprove would also have a very loud say in the matter.
Besides that, winter is coming on. Winter is cold, and, well, things, ah, shrink.
And I wouldn't leave people with the wrong impression.
I'll have to leave it to another hero to take their clothes off and go publicly nude.
I'll keep you posted when it happens.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com