Wrote four blog posts today. Deleted four blog posts without sharing them. Trying to understand myself, again. I can never fully understand myself. I see pieces. Most seem to fit but a few pieces seem to be missing.
So I'm forced to look around but I'm not sure what the pieces look like. I could just go around asking others, "Excuse me, I seem to be missing a few pieces. Have you seen them?"
Trying to understand the world and my place in it. Trying to understand more about all the many things that have happened in my lifetime and in the world's existence. Trying to understand everything going on and make sense of myself, my life, my world, along with everyone else's life and world. It all seems to be missing a few pieces, too.
Worked hard through the morning thinking I might find the pieces at work but after all I did, the pieces remained missing.
Tried changing my routine today to see if I could discover some of the missing pieces. I walked a different route. The pieces weren't on that route. I went to Starbucks instead of The Beanery. I didn't find the missing pieces at Starbucks.
It occurs to me that maybe someone broke into my house and stole the pieces and that's why they're missing. And Good God, there is another story idea to address, another story to evolve.
There are the missing pieces. I'm forced to live around my writing. Work, life, cleaning and yardwork. There are the missing pieces. I need a deep writing fix, time on my own to write and write and write and write....
It never seems to be enough time. Isn't that what Jim Croce sang?
"There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do, once you find it."
Too true. I just need to keep trying.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com