Yesterday was a dissatisfying writing day as I look back.
Yesterday was a useful writing day as I look back. Yesterday was an essential writing day. Yesterday was a reminder that disturbances in one bubble affect another. All the bubbles were aquiver with activity, actions and reactions. Once again, I must remind myself not to let these things control me; I need to control them. No, not control, but cope, be mindful and aware, and keep it all in perspective, and balances the influences and my reactions.
Yesterday was a frustrating writing day. I didn't write what I wanted to write. I'd been on a streak of satisfying my ability to find the characters, stories and words. I've become so conditioned to quickly and easily turning out phrases, characters, words, and stories that I'm astonished and vexed that the ability eludes me yesterday and today, that this story eludes me.
After posting last night, I attempted more writing but felt worn and surrendered the treadmill for the day. After jumping off the writing treadmill, the work treadmill began gently moving. I realized my logic error my forecast spreadsheet within a few minutes and mapped out the solutions in my head. This morning I applied them all and felt satisfied with the results. Presenting them to my team later and talking through the logic and assumptions with them left us all agreed, my conclusions were correct. Logic problem solved.
Not so the writing question. "Many and Varied Potato Recipes" remains to be solved. I picked it up and turn it over and around in my mind's hands numerous times as I walked today, looking for why this story so vexes me. As I did that, I began realizing the point of view might be wrong. Shifting the POV will add tension and dimension. Some more thinking is still needed but I feel more comfortable with the course of my thinking today.
Meanwile, I'll switch back to revising the novel, "Peerless". Give my mind time to work on the Recipes on its own. I find it's often more effective working on its own, sorting matters out, then when I try to control and manage its direction.
As I wrote that, I realized a sense of truth about the statement. There was a difference between how I was attacking Recipe, trying to force it, rather than coaxing my mind into it, and the story into me. Does that make sense? There is a difference in thinking...it may be that I've been following a logical route, maybe due to work, rather than a creative route. They come from different wells in my thinking. Maybe I've been drinking from the wrong stream or would that be thinking in the wrong stream?
Now I'm thinking, wondering, how do I change streams? And in thinking, I find that the answer is in me. Three things often help rediscover my creative stream and replenish my writing energies. One is to read fiction. Chick lit, mysteries, cozies, horror, science fiction, commercial, fantasy, detective, action and adventure, young adult, read something creative, and my creative stream will gain volume and soon start its strong, familiar flow. The second is a basic writer's type, to go and type another's writers words so my fingers and mind find the creative well through the words they've presented. Third is back to what I learned in Natalie's Goldberg's "Writing Down the Bones".
So yesterday was a good reminder that me and my writing, my life and my writing efforts, are all works in progress. Sometimes reminders and course corrections are required. I'm not like a building, where I can find the balance by using a level, build, and move on. No, I am like a building, actually; we think of them as permanent, too, but everyone who deals with buildings know how buildings change. They settle, shift and crack. Doors and windows become stuck. Materials deteriorate and need replaced. What began as balanced can become off balance and needs to be addressed.
So there you have it, the writer as a building. It's been a useful thinking exercise for me. Time to go write like crazy.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com