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The Spider In The Shower

My first notice a spider had moved into my shower's corner were all the moving boxes.  He'd unpacked them and dumped them onto the floor.  Seeing me stare at them, he hurried up his web to chat.

"Hi.  I'm Dominique.  Everyone calls me Dom, Dom the daddy long legs.  Dom Astaire."  He cackled a spidery laugh.  "I just moved in here.  Don't worry about those boxes.  I'll get them cleaned right up."

"Hey, no problem, Dominique - Dom.  Welcome to the neighborhood."

"Thanks.  Great to be here.  I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Sorry, Michael."

"Good to meet you, Michael.  Yeah, I'm happy to be here."  Dom looked around in search of words.  "I've been looking around for somewhere to live just about my entire life.  You don't know how hard it is to find the right place."

"I can imagine.  I'm surprised you chose here."

"Oh, why's that?" Dom's voice had hackles.  "You have a problem?  Something wrong with spiders living in your shower?"

"No, not from my point of view.  If you don't mind seeing me naked, I'm not going to say anything."

"I've seen naked before.  I've been around a while.  I've seen all kinds of naked."

"I bet."  I hastened to shift the topic.  "I'm just saying that you and your web will probably get wet in here."

"I don't mind a little water, as long as it doesn't wash me out, if you know what I'm saying."

"Yes, I -- "

"I don't see how it can wash me out unless you direct the water toward me.  You wouldn't do that, would you?"

"No, no, no, I have nothing against spiders in the shower," I said.  "I hope it works out for you."

"So we good?"

"Sure, we're good."

"All right, then.  If you don't mind, I'm going to finish unpacking."

"No, go ahead, I'm going to go ahead and do my shower."

I worried about getting cleansers on Dom Astaire but decided not to say anything because he seemed edgy.  He moved in four days ago and seems to be thriving, greeting me every time I shower. 

I wondered about his diet, though.  "How's it going, Dom?" I asked him this morning.  "You doing all right?"

"Great, Michael, great, just great."

"Are you getting enough to eat here?"

"Oh, yeah, well -- honestly?  I could use a bit more, I mean, I haven't actually had a meal since I moved here, but that's okay.  I've been wanting to lose some weight so really it's a blessing in disguise that there's been nothing to eat.  Why, I've hardly been hungry with all this water, anyhow."

He looked about as healthy as any spider I've ever seen.  "Well, okay, as long as you're all right."

I busied myself washing my body.  He turned away and busied himself with his web.  No matter what he says, I don't think he's going to last there.  The spray was making his web quiver.  It seems like that would be uncomfortable to me. 

Besides, how long can a spider last without food?