Heard back from Dad's wife - she left a vm while I was out - but she confirmed, she is trying to get his children to his house in San Antonio for his 80th birthday in October.
Talked with my wife. She doesn't want to go but accepts that I'll probably play the role of dutiful son and go. Be interesting to see who else turns up. Dad's wife tried this on his 75th but didn't allow much lead time. I couldn't attend and neither could Dad's other son. His wife didn't hear back from my sisters on the request.
I believe my younger sister will not respond and that will be her response. She remains angry and unforgiving about Dad and doesn't feel much better about Mom. Of course, she does have many issues. As a teenager, she ended up being the parent for my younger half-sisters as I declared independence, older sister disappeared and Mom re-charted her life. There's a lot of her in me; whereas I say, try to forgive, although it's hard as hell, she takes the tack, never forget, never forgive. At least that's how I see it. Been a while since she and I talked about it. In thinking back to that, I recall that she said she wasn't angry, and said there was nothing to forgive and forget because Dad didn't mean anything to her. Mom was another matter....
My older sister is harder to judge. She is older and has gone through the re-assessment of life many do as they pass through their fifties. But her problems is that she takes care of her granddaughter many days. She may also claim poverty. She often does. We don't know the truth of the matter. She's a schemer.
Terrible to think of family in this way. We've been blown apart for so long. The dots connecting us are worn and hazy. Harder to re-connect. Thinking about that, I recall that family rarely visit me. Dad never visited me anywhere except once in my first year of marriage. So let's see, that was 1976. Mom visited me once, when I bought her tickets and forced her. That was 2000. Older sister has never visited. Younger sister has visited once. One half sister visited once, and the other half sister and half brother have never visited. Much of that is likely my own doing, as I left home very early and created an independent life. But I've gone and visited each of them at least twice, except my half brother. He and I remain strangers. He was two or three, I think when I began my independence. Dad and his mother had just divorced. She received custody and Dad found another woman and adopted another family.
Terrible to think of family in this way when so many others don't know who their parents are. So many have lost their family to war, disease and disaster. So many have lost them to murder, mayhem and circumstance. This is really a case again of a wealthy person not knowing they're wealthy and not appreciating their wealth.
Boy, reading this, I sound so downbeat and weary. Enough therapy for today. Suck it up. Back to making coffee. Back to work.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com