My mantra has typically been about trying to find balance and sustaining the will to press on regardless.
The mantra doesn't seem like it's always needed. There does seem to be emotional, physical and intellectual patterns my mind and body follow, independent of what I'm eating or doing and what's happening in the world. I'll crash into deep troughs of anger, resentment, bitterness and even despair. In those days, even the smallest matter sets me off. Several small matters aggregate into rolling juggernauts that make matters seem insurmountable.
On those days, meditation and mantras are absolute musts.
Yet days like today arrive, an accumulation of time and effort when everything seems to be going to plan and each day's dawn glows with hope and the promise of success.
Writing about myself forced me to think about myself, and my reactions to the world. Now I clearly perceive these patterns in my mood and outlook.
It's useful knowing they exist. When I'm down in the bottom of the deepest wave, I know, deep, deep - okay deep to 10 to the tenth power sort of depth - this will pass. It's not the world's end.
Likewise, days like today, when spring's fingers are reaching through winter, will not last. Just as the others must be endured, these days must be appreciated and enjoyed, even cultivated.
I take heart from how well work is going, and my writing and editing's wonderful progress. My wife's illness seems in remission, but she and it are following their own waves. My cats and family are safe, happy and healthy from all that I can discern.
I use these moments to make plans, build momentum. I notice that daylight's gray is creeping in around the blinds even at 6 AM and rejoice that we're sneaking out of winter. Temperatures yesterday popped into the low 40s and are expected to climb into the mid 50s and low 60s for a few days. A dip back into winter is forecasted for next week but nothing heavy like the Rockies or America's midwest and northeast are enduring.
There are computer issues to endure. Computer issues always seem to exist, independent of any predictable trend, other than that they'll be updated each month and quarter, and each update will probably deliver another issue or side-effect from a fix deployed to fix a previous issue. If I was better with probability and had the time, I might be able to get a fix on the pattern. Someone probably already has, if I just look for it. It's not critical, though, just a nugget of idle curiosity.
For now, I'll relax and enjoy it all, riding the waves that coincide and lift me higher. Just ride the wave of the day.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com