...from somewhere in me, the edits emerged without effort. Here I was thinking that I had a lot of work to do. As I sat to do it, a hand took over and said, this is all that needs excised. Those six paragraphs. Done. Was that hard?
Funny how the mind will explode with dire possibilities, feeding on anxities and insecurities. Georgia O'Keefe said she always felt like she was on a knife's edge when she painted. I feel the same as I write. Good to know others have walked the knife.
But of course others have. The trick in walking the knife --
Look down a lot. Worry about falling off but don't worry about falling. Keep looking back. Keep looking ahead. Pay no attention to what's below you. Examine yourself, don't examine yourself, don't worry, just be you. Be wary of what's below you. Look back to see where you've been but don't look back because that's the past. Look ahead to see where you're going even though you have no fucking idea where you're going and then laugh like a maniac because you may have fallen off the knife and you're fucking insane and then realize, no, you're the sane one because you know the knife is there and you're walking on the knife. Then pause and wonder and think, what knife?
Walk on the knife. Do it as you will. Ignore it if you will. Expose yourself as you will, and hide as you want, as you must, as you're forced.
Is it too much to say, don't blame others? You're the knife. Yes, let's share from "Caddyshack" and paraphrase a little.
Feel the knife.
Be the knife.
Or not. Have a glass of wine, a sip of water, a swig of beer, whisky, coffee, juice, close your eyes, take a breath, say a prayer, ask for help, mutter to yourself, call your friends and family, whisper to your lover, and decide. Is the knife there? Are you the knife?
Does the knife matter?
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com