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Photos and Mirrors

In a last rant - for this hour at least - my third morning meeting has ended and now I will actually turn to work on my employment 'to-do' list - I will rant about mirrors and photographs.

Just saw a new photo of me, taken two weeks ago. 

I was speechless. It was not the beauty shining bright from the form that is me that struck me dumb. 

I looked like a little balding bear. 

How can that be? I asked myself in the mirror. Look at yourself. That's not how you look. 

Well, of course, both are how I look, depressing as it is. 

I don't get the distant, big picture in the mirror. I focus on the good stuff and the small things that bother me that I can attend during my grooming rituals. That photo offers me the big picture and shows the receding hair and expanding paunch that I either conveniently overlook in the mirror or accept. But in the photo - whoa, boy. 

But of that I think is that I focus on the 'bad things' in the photo. I can see more of the bad things and that causes me to overlook the good things. 

Seeing myself in this way does help me strengthen my resolve about who I am. It also strengthens my resolve to never, ever, have my photograph taken again. 

I think I also need a smaller mirror.