Yes, in nipple news, a 39 year old woman, mother of three, was posting about coping with her breast cancer in a Foreign Service blog supported by the State Department. She mentioned nipples.
Nipples, of course, are Americans' greatest threat. Who doesn't remember the dark day in American history when Janet Jackson's nipple 'accidently' slipped out because of a 'wardrobe malfunction' in an event commemorated as Nippleslipgate. Although it happened on a Sunday, during the Super Bowl halftime entertainment, rivers froze, seas boiled, and protestors stormed through the streets. Politicians gave speeches damning Janet's accident and many people gathered at churches, praying for salvation. The Dow fell the next day, oil, gas, and gold prices rose, and a few years later, AIG and other corporations, financial institutions and banks fell. An exhaustive two year Congressional investigation confirmed our current economic woes can be traced back to Nippleslipgate. Just last week, JPMorgan Chase released news of a 'bad deal' that cost them $2,000,000,000, and the CEO directly blamed Nippleslipgate.
I vividly remember Nippleslipgate. As a man, I'd heard that nipples existed but had never seen one. I asked my friends about nipples. They stared at me, confirming that they had no idea what I was talking about.
Turning to The Google, I beseeched the mighty search engine to reveal the truths about nipples. As I expected, the search engine took a while, almost .11 seconds, to return its results, a paltry 79,800,000 hits.
So this 'woman', to use the technical term used to describe over half the people who sport nipples (which, I understand, often come in pairs, apparently), used the word to describe her four reconstructive surgeries which recreated her nipple. Honestly, must we hear about these things?
Apparently we do, for the woman, one Jennifer Dinoia, has had her blog restored so she can post more information about her nipple surgery. Fortunately, as she noted while addressing her masectomy, she's apparently the only one who has ever gone through this and probably ever will, so we'll probably never need to hear about nipples again.
Unless there's another wardrobe malfunction.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com