Used to have an expression we often used, maintaining. This meant you were keeping it real.
Maintaining is about keeping balance, maintaining stress and outlook. Spent the night in some darkness as the day stole toward us. Pictured sundogs rising in line around the world, chasing some into slumber, kicking others awake, and other things I've decided not to share.
Thought about cycles. Blogging has revealed cycles in my moods, thinking and energy. Been keeping an eye on the usual culprits, pondering their guilt. Might be hormonal but it could be biorhythms or planet alignments or voodoo. I don't know. Maintaining is about keeping in mind who owns what, how you'll let things handle you, and how you'll handle matters, whether it's being detached, staying balanced or going nuts. Impatience is my one weakness, along with arrogance and creep. Creep is the phenomena of changes occurring without your awareness. I currently suffer from several creeps. Photographs tell on my haircreep. It's slowly easing off my head, trying to duck out without being noticed. I wouldn't notice except for photographs. Gray is creeping into my hair and beard and mustache. My clothing creeps toward smaller smaller sizes. I suspect tiny creeps sneak in each night and alter my shirts and pants to think I'm growing. They do this to mess with my sanity.
It's working. I'm suffering from insanity creep, judging from the conversations that I have late with myself at night. Popular culture is creeping past me because I'm not the spending demographic. Maintaining is about understanding these things are happening and deciding how to handle them. It's about tempering my patience and arrogance and learning how to read my moods before they're on me. Yes, it's another expression for being mindful, another level or aspect of mindfulness, if you will.
These things happen despite my diligence, my meditation, mantras, routines, successes and failures. They are currents flowing through me. I need to learn to read them, like sailors read the waters and prophets read the tea leaves. Then I can avoid their creep and maintain my energy and calm detachment. It's another way of asserting some measure of control and direction to my life. I may not control the wind but I can adjust how it blows my vessel.
So ends another post of mixed metaphors, confused similes and beleagured analogies from the toybox of my mind.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com