Let's talk about vaginas. Excuse me, did I offend you?
What would you have me call it?
Before you answer or I make suggestions, do you know LMFAO's song? The duo's hit, Sexy And I know It, is a mash up of words, rythms and catch phrases -
Girl look at that body
Girl look at that body
Girl look at that body -
I work out -
Look at that body -
I'm sexy and I know it.
My wife's favorite part is "When I'm at the beach, I'm in a speedo trying to tan my cheeks."
The song hasn't been out a year yet so you may not have heard it. It was #1 on Billboard's Top 100 in January 2012. Maybe you don't know it because it's not on your iPod, not played on the stations you listen to while driving, walking, surfing the net and the like or you don't listen to these venues. Perhaps you haven't heard the song during the M&M commercial at all hours of the day, or you didn't see the Ricky Martin cover on Glee. Maybe you missed it on Gossip Girl or when Madonna sang it with LMFAO during SuperBowl XLVI in February when the accursed NY Giants beat the accursed NE Patriots. Maybe you didn't see it on the viral video of a six year old dancing to it at an NHL hockey game.
Somehow, despite its limited airtime and venues, back in May, a six year old in Aurora, Colorado, heard it, sang it to a class mate at lunch and danced in front of her, and was suspended for sexual harrassment.
You could have knocked me over with an M&M. I ended up ILMFAO - the 'I' here meaning incredulously. I thought, how ridiculous.
Shit, children, we're just starting to mine the limits of ridiculous. We found a new vein this week.
"West Bloomfield Representative Lisa Brown was banned from speaking on the House floor Thursday after she referred to her female anatomy the day before. She used the word "vagina" when voicing her opinion against a bill restricting abortions. She said the bill would violate her Jewish religious beliefs.
"I have not asked you to adopt and adhere to my religious beliefs, why are you asking me to adopt yours? And finally Mr. Speaker, I'm flattered that you're all so interested in my vagina but no means no," said Rep. Brown."
Vagina. How disgusting. Men don't have an interest in hearing about vaginas any more than they're intersting in hearing about menstruation, periods, or mucus plugs.
She should have used the much more formal and appropriate 'vajayjay'.
How dare she, a mother of three, say vagina on the stately Michigan legislature floor? It would be different if it's Tina Fey saying vagina on a television sitcom or some other form of entertainment, like The Vagina Monologues, or written in Psychology Today in an article, Fifteen Crazy Things About Vaginas by Lissa Rankin, MD - a woman, of course - or on a blog where access is limited to only those people with web connections and a computer or smart phone, but to use a medical term to refer to a part of the female human body being discussed in connection with legislation is wholly inappropriate.
It would be different if Lisa Brown was talking about peckers or penises. The boys would have probably sat up erect then. Peckers, penises and wangers are from the male body and are much more appropriate to discuss on the legislative floor. After all, most of those legislators are male.
They're very familiar with swinging dicks.
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com