I was thinking about meditating and healing and how much it's like editing and revising.
Back to work today, feeling much better. I did an inventory in bed this morning, what feels right and what feels wrong. I discovered my throat still felt sore.
'Sore' is such an amorphous word. What does sore mean? As I thought about it, I pondered, why didn't I meditate on healing that? It was something that hadn't crossed my mind. When I have a hurt muscle or joint or a headache, I won't hesitate to meditate on the pain and symptom and reduce them. Why not the throat?
In thinking about it, I realized that it was the vagueness of 'sore throat' that partly dissuaded me but there are also connections with past events and illnesses. Sort throats are usually a symptom of a larger problem. That was true this time as well. Nausea, sore throat, sore back, aching muscles and joints all over, malaise, heavy sweating. It occured to me I've been trained since childhood to take it easy, medicate and go to bed when I have a sore throat. In a sense, I realized I'd lost my mindfulness about 'being ill' when it came to having a sore throat. I simply reacted, letting the illness and conditioning control me. Meditating about a sore throat required a change to my thinking.
Anyway, after thinking about it this morning, I began attacking it through meditation. As I did, I worked through the amorphous nature of 'sore throat' and its ambiguity. I find with meditation and healing, it's best that you're specific. Accuracy counts.
As I thought about healing and meditating, it crossed my mind that this is a lot like editing and revising that I sometimes find while critiquing myself and others. Something feels 'off' in the work. But 'off' is too amorphous. The trick then is to accurately figure it out and address it through the critique or revising and editing. Sometimes the feeling that it's 'off' is a symtom that masks several problems. Deeper digging is required.
So it was with meditating on the sore throat. I started with that general thought, 'no sore throat, no inflammation,' then became more focused with them: no inflammation, no pain, no swelling. I received a moderate easing of the pain and sense of blockage. I moved on to my adenoids: no inflammation, no swelling, no pain, no blockage. Bingo. I felt an immediate clutching at the base of my throat and then a surge of relief. Interesting. I continued focusing on them and expanded my meditation to lymph nodes and my lymph system. It was fascinating to feel the spreading relief. As relief spread, it revealed other places of discomfort. I then attacked each of those. By the time my alarm clock went off, I felt so much better.
As I say, it's so reminiscent of editing and revising - and polishing, polishing, polishing. That left me with amusing thoughts. Should I meditate on fixing stories? Why not?
What could it hurt?
But on deeper reflection, I realize in a sense that's already done but it's more involved. That's because the words, through their delivery onto screen and paper, become external. Yet I do meditate on them. I read them and think, this isn't right. Why isn't it right? I get a general sense of that and then begin thinking, how can I fix it? In that way, I set my mind to working on what I've written. The difference between meditating and healing and meditating and writing is that through the former, I'm attempting to address things that require fixing through my mind while in the latter, I'm attempting to address things that require fixing through my mind. So wait, how is it different? Both are attempts to address issues through deeper thought and through the power of my mind.
They're not different.
And in that way, all of this is the same as trying to change attitude and remain positive. Mind power - attitude - is essential to getting through all the dark rainbow colors that bring me down, all the efforts to give in to the easier path, to surrender and to pity myself. Mind power is essential to maintaining my balance and riding out the waves and changing expectations, for I often ride a wave to its peak, and then I expect it to crash.
I must stop expecting the crash. Why should there be a crash? Although I picture this as a curling, rising ocean wave, this isn't an ocean wave. It's not controlled by physics and gravity.
All my self-coaching, reminding myself, I own this life, are forms of meditation, focusing on the positive over the negative. As I thought further about this, I see the deeper connections. In each, healing, editing, and changing attitude, I'm addressing weakness and shortcoming and focusing mind power to bring about change, first by opening awareness. From there becomes the second leap, becoming more mindful about what I say and do and how I say and do them. Then, I need to move myself away to not saying and doing those things any longer, but replacing them with more positive actions, which, well, in my mind, begats more positive energy.
It's a bit involved. It's a bit new age and a bit old magic and a bit religion. Mind, body, life, world, attitude, spirit...they all have the same roots. I affect them and they affect me.
Okay, back to work. Just had to think that all through. That's my compulsive, obsessive side. Someday I'll need to work on that. Have a good day. Cheers
Causes Michael Seidel Supports
Kiva, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Propublica.org, Doctors Without Borders, GreaterGood.com