where the writers are
Defiance of a Fast Eater

I've been a fast eater all of my life.  It's common for people to look at my plate and then ask, "Aren't you going to get some food?"

"I've already eaten," I reply.

They're often astonished. 

My fast eating has incurred rebuke from some.  Take Mom.  She doesn't approve of my fast eating.  She accuses me of gulping my food.  Other ask, "How do you taste it when you're eating so fast?"

I used to feel guilty and embarassed by my fast eating.  I don't understand why I eat fast.  Mom can't point to a reason. She says that I've always been a fast eater.

I've blamed my mouth for many years.  I have a large mouth. Small bites would get lost in there so I take large bites.  I don't stuff my mouth, it's just others have trouble squeezing one of my normal bites into their mouths and comfortably chewing. 

I have modified my behavior.  I take slower bites.  I set the utensils down between bites.  I chew, swallow, engage in conversation, look around, all attempts to stop me from eating quickly. 

No more.  I realize the problem is not that I'm a fast eater. 

The problem, as I see it, is three fold.  One, others are slow eaters.  Two, others have abnormally small mouths.  Three, others are jealous of me and my big mouth and fast eating. 

So for me to modify my behavior to fit what they perceive as proper eating habits would mean being false to myself and relenting to conform to how others think I should behave.  After all, they accuse me of eating too fast to taste the food but how do they know that?  They're just making baseless assertions. 

And it's all because they're jealous because they're slow eaters with small mouths.  Well I refuse to bend to the small mouths and the slow eaters.  Someday, when their mouth grows to at least a normal size and they begin eating faster, they'll apologize to me for accusing me of being a fast eater. 

"No problem," I'll reply.  "I understand.  You didn't know.  You didn't see the limitations your mouth imposed on you and I thought it would be rude to point it out to you."

Until that day arrives, I'll just chew on.